A bit of humour

Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays

Enjoy

· My thanks to “Postscript” for these gems

· Crushing pop cans is soda pressing

· The problem with political jokes is that they sometimes get elected

· People are making apocalypse jokes like there is no tomorrow

· Autocorrect made me say things I didn’t Nintendo

· If ignorance is bliss than I know some people who should be happier than they seem

· I danced like no one was watching. My court date is pending.

· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again

· Puns about communism are not funny unless everyone gets them

· If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

· I ordered a chicken and an egg on the Internet just to see which one comes first

· I ate a dictionary and got thesaurus throat.

· I can tell if people are judgmental just by looking at them.

· Despite the high cost of living it remains popular

· WELL, TO BE FRANK, I’d have to change my name

· A book hit my head and I have only my shelf to blame

· The cook was a good cook, as cooks go, and as cooks go, she went.

· In baiting a mousetrap with cheese, always leave room for the mouse.

· Think about how many blameless lives are brightened by the blazing indiscretions of other people.

· A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

· Every reformation must have its victims. You can’t expect the fatted calf to share the enthusiasm of the angels over the prodigal’s return.

· Never be a pioneer. It was the Early Christians that got the hungriest lion.

· I hate posterity—it’s so fond of having the last word.