don kerr

5 years ago · 4 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

chat Contact the author

thumb_up Relevant message Comment

A covenant for honouring children

A covenant for honouring children

Jena Ball's superb posting (https://www.bebee.com/producer/@jena-ball/the-science-of-kindness) is the inspiration for this post as well as Robert Cormack's contribution to the commentary thread on that post. 

Regular readers will know that I have two sons. Gabriel is eight and Samuel is six. My wife Kate and I are doing our utmost to keep alive in them a childlike sense of wonder and a powerful motivation toward kindness. We are ardent believers in the approach recommend by Dr. Dan Siegal in his seminal work The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary strategies to nurture your child's developing mind, survive everyday parenting struggles, and help your family thrive. (Delacorte Press; 1 edition (October 4, 2011)

A covenant for honouring childrenThere's a separate posting coming that deals more directly with our experience of implementing the principles espoused by Siegal so I won't belabour it now.

What this post was really intended to do was bring attention to something I came upon only recently. Raffi Cavoukian, better known by his mononym Raffi, is an Egyptian-born Canadian singer-songwriter and author best known for his children's music. He has developed his career as a "global troubadour", to become a music producer, author, entrepreneur, and founder of the Centre for Child Honouring, a vision for global restoration. Source: Wikipedia

I pheard him interviewed on CBC Radio recently where he spoke about his Covenant for Honouring Children and it moved me. Lest you think this Covenant is about letting the yard apes run wild without direction and discipline, it is rather a set of principles that acknowledge children as developing people. They are not 'little adults' nor are they empty vessels awaiting filling by our education systems and parental values. 

I was born in a time and adopted by a family where the principle of children are to be seen and not heard was the foundation of our household's functioning. My adopted father also heartily embraced the Old Testament direction that to spare the rod was to spoil the child.

I am proud to say that my household operates on a foundation of principles that are as far removed as possible from that. In fact we operate with restitution always in mind and while we still have our periods of absolutely mental chaos and outrageous meltdowns, we find a way to come back to a central notion revolving around patience, compassion and kindness.

Anyway, with full credit to Raffi here is his Covenant for Honouring Children.

A COVENANT FOR HONOURING CHILDREN 

RAFFI

We find these joys to be self evident: That all children are created whole, endowed with innate intelligence, with dignity and wonder, worthy of respect. The embodiment of life,

Liberty and happiness, children are original blessings, here to learn their own song. Every girl and boy is entitled to love, to dream and belong to a loving “village.” And to pursue a life of purpose.

We affirm our duty to nourish and nurture the young, to honour their caring ideals as the heart of being human. To recognize the early years as the foundation of life, and tocherish the contribution of young children to human evolution.

We commit ourselves to peaceful ways and vow to keep from harm or neglect these, our most vulnerable citizens. As guardians of their prosperity we honour the bountiful Earth whose diversity sustains us. Thus we pledge our love for generations to come.

CHILD HONOURING PRINCIPLES

The words of A Covenant for Honouring Children suggest nine guiding principles for living. Taken together, they offer a holistic way of restoring natural and human communities, thus brightening the outlook for the world we share. They form the basis for a multi-faith consensus on societal renewal.

RESPECTFUL LOVE

is key. It speaks to the need to respect children as whole people and to encourage them to know their own voices. Children need the kind of love that sees them as legitimate beings, persons in their own right. Respectful love instills self-worth; it’s the prime nutrient in human development. Children need this not only from parents and caregivers, but from the whole community.

DIVERSITY

is about abundance: of human dreams, intelligences, cultures, and cosmologies; of earthly splendours and ecosystems. Introducing children to biodiversity and human diversity at an early age builds on their innate curiosity. There’s a world of natural wonders to discover, and a wealth of cultures, of ways to be human. Comforted by how much we share, we’re able to delight in our differences.

CARING COMMUNITY

refers to the “village” it takes to raise a child. The community can positively affect the lives of its children. Child-friendly shopkeepers, family resource centres, green schoolyards, bicycle lanes, and pesticide-free parks are some of the ways a community can support its young.

CONSCIOUS PARENTING

can be taught from an early age; it begins with empathy for newborns. Elementary and secondary schools could teach nurturant parenting (neither permissive nor oppressive) and provide insight into the child-rearing process. Such knowledge helps to deter teen pregnancies and unwanted children. Emotionally aware parents are much less likely to perpetuate abuse or neglect.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

sums up what early life is about: a time for exploring emotions in a safe setting, learning about feelings and how to express them. Those who feel loved are most able to learn and to show compassion for others. Emotional management builds character and is more important to later success than IQ. Cooperation, play, and creativity all foster the “EQ” needed for a joyful life.

NONVIOLENCE

is central to emotional maturity, to family relations, to community values, and to the character of societies that aspire to live in peace. It means more than the absence of aggression; it means living with compassion. Regarding children, it means no corporal punishment, no humiliation, no coercion. “First do no harm,” the physicians’ oath, must now apply to all our relations; it can become a mantra for our times. A culture of peace begins in a nonviolent heart, and a loving home.

SAFE ENVIRONMENTS

foster a child’s feeling of security and belonging. The very young need protection from the toxic influences that permeate modern life–from domestic neglect and maltreatment, to the corporate manipulations of their minds, to the poisonous chemicals entering their bodies. The first years are when children are most impressionable and vulnerable; they need safeguarding.

SUSTAINABILITY

refers not merely to conservation of resources, renewable energy development, and anti-pollution laws. To be sustainable, societies need to build social capacity by investing in their young citizens, harnessing the productive power of a contented heart. The loving potential of every young child is a potent source for good in the world.

ETHICAL COMMERCE

is fundamental to a child-honouring world. It includes a revolution in the design, manufacture and sale of goods; corporate reform; “triple bottom line” business; full-cost accounting; tax and subsidy shifts; political and economic cycles that reward long-term thinking. Ethical commerce would enable a restorative economy devoted to the well being of the very young.

CONVENANT © 1999, 2010 ~ childhonouring.org


Photo credit: Me 

Copyright 2016 Don Kerr Writes

To learn more about how I work with clients to enhance their brand expression and engage in meaningful, relevant conversation with prospects and clients please visit

https://donkerrwrites.squarespace.com

You can also email me directly at donkerrwrites@gmail.com or call me on 416-818-5608

To learn more about my special project and upcoming book on the male caregiver's role for a partner with breast cancer please visit

https://ridingshotgun.squarespace.com







thumb_up Relevant message Comment
Comments

don kerr

5 years ago #10

#12
Thanks so much for stopping by Jena Ball

don kerr

5 years ago #9

#9
Appreciate the share and your commentary, as always, Donna-Luisa Eversley Hope life is treating you will in the islands.

don kerr

5 years ago #8

#8
Thank you for your astute comments Praveen Raj Gullepalli I do appreciate you providing additional perspective.

don kerr

5 years ago #7

#6
you might like it right up until you declare me to be "the worst father EVER":)

Dean Owen

5 years ago #6

Can I be your son? Actually Gabriel and Samuel both remind me of the boy Emile from one of the best War movies ever made, The Wild Geese. Here in Shanghai, it is my daughter that is teaching me to be a father.

don kerr

5 years ago #5

#1
And thanks for the share my friend.

don kerr

5 years ago #4

Thanks Kevin Pashuk. Sometimes oversimplification is perfect because it reveals a core truth.

don kerr

5 years ago #3

Please don't send more Pascal Derrien I am a very old man rapidly becoming much older! Rock on though!

Pascal Derrien

5 years ago #2

it sounds like a kool household I think we should send you more children you seem gifted :-),as far as music is concerned we all share a love of rock with a lot of choub choubi dou wha in it. To your family Don Kerr :-)

Kevin Pashuk

5 years ago #1

If our primary role as parents is to release responsible adults into the world (I know, a gross oversimplification), then I predict you and your better half will do a great job.

More articles from don kerr

View blog
4 months ago · 4 min. reading time

Paddling to hear the angels singing

I spent several years as camper, guide, counsellor ...

1 year ago · 6 min. reading time

When we knew some shit

November 3, 1993 · We’d finished off a few pounds ...

3 years ago · 4 min. reading time

Soul force and the immortal part of history

This has been such a messed up year with so much f ...