A Historical Look At Our Silliness.

From Ancient Rome to today's ‘rona, we’re the silliest species going.

“I was taught that the human brain was the crowning glory of evolution so far, but I think it’s a very poor scheme for survival.” Kurt Vonnegut

Contrary to popular opinion, the Roman Empire didn’t fall because of roaming barbarian tribes. Not that there weren’t barbarian tribes. In fact, there were more barbarian tribes than you could shake a stick at.

What really caused Rome’s demise was distraction. By the time the barbarians stormed the gates, Roman’s citizens were so wrapped up in distractions, their first words to the interlopers were, “Are you performing at the Colosseum tonight?”

According to historians and archeologists, Rome was a hopping place at the time, offering free performances in open-air theatres, including Olympic games, gladiators, and the feeding of Christians to the lions.

By the end of the 3rd century AD, men refused to marry, children were raised without fathers, and women lost interest in childrearing, turning it over to nannies.

But it’s what these distractions caused that really ended the Roman Empire. By the end of the 3rd century AD, men refused to marry, children were raised without fathers, and women lost interest in childrearing, turning it over to nannies.

As women started attaining more wealth and position, men lost their motivation. They turned to distractions like prostitution, homosexuality and vice. Women — not to be outdone by men — turned to women.

In fact, the barbarians didn’t cause the fall of Rome. If anything, they were a mopping up operation, essentially quickening what was already a moral collapse by the Romans themselves.

Now let’s fast forward to today. It seems what took Romans centuries to achieve in silliness, we’re doing in a matter of decades. In just the past two years alone, we’ve taken it to a level never seen before in history.

Let’s start with the pandemic. Like those Romans, who seemed oblivious to the barbarian threat, we’re just as oblivious to the coronavirus threat. As mortality and morbidity rates have doubled and tripled in just the last two weeks, our greatest concern has been vacations and getting home for Christmas.

Today, thousands are stuck in airports, dealing with new border restrictions that came into effect while they were visiting family and friends.

Then there’s the bizarre case of a 50-year-old anti-vaxxer in northern Italy who tried to pass off a silicone arm as his own.

One woman, lucky enough to get on a plane, was asked numerous times to pull her mask up over her nose. “It won’t stay,” she told the flight attendant. He informed her it was upside down, and suggested she should turn it around. “But you told us not to remove our masks,” she replied.

Then there’s the bizarre case of a 50-year-old anti-vaxxer in northern Italy who tried to pass off a silicone arm as his own. It seems he wanted to get a vaccine certificate without actually getting inoculated. His biggest mistake was choosing a silicone arm that was much lighter than his own skin tone.

And let’s not forget the great state of Texas, where one town decided to stock up at the beer store in the event of further quarantines. They cleared out every shelf except one. Nobody touched the cases of Corona.

As one man said, “I don’t want no case of ‘rona.”

Okay, I’m giving you extreme cases of silliness, but our general attitude towards this pandemic is leading us in the same direction as the Romans. Like them, we’re now at a below-replacement birthrate, falling below 4% in 2020.

And while rumor, backstabbing, and general badmouthing ran rampant before the fall of the Roman Empire, it’s nothing compared to today. The “gloves off” mentality is showing just how nasty politicians can get with allegations and fact-bending. Last January 6th, the nation watched while Capital Hill was stormed by Trump supporters, all because he told them the election was fixed and they should do something about it (he’s still not charged with insurrection).

We may not be bumping off emperors like crazy, but today’s American senate—including two Democrats—recently voted down the Build Back Better Act that would’ve provided billions in aid to communities suffering from floods, wildfires and a historical number of businesses going bankrupt.

It’s exactly what the Roman Empire faced: we’re a distracted population, so concerned with our freedoms, traditions, conveniences and luxuries, we’re literally dying from what can only be described as our silliness.

The danger today isn’t a terrorist war or a nuclear war—or even the pandemic. It’s exactly what the Roman Empire faced: we’re a distracted population, so concerned with our freedoms, traditions, and luxuries, we’re literally dying from what can only be described as our silliness.

We like our distractions, even if it’s nothing more than doing what we please and thinking it’s freedom. But it’s still silliness, and no amount of chest beating will make us any safer—or wiser—in the end.

As P.J. O’Rourke once said, “If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.”

In other words, we’re just silly.

Robert Cormack is a freelance copywriter, novelist and blogger. His first novel “You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can’t Make It Scuba Dive)” is available online and at most major bookstores. To read other articles and stories by Robert (absolutely free) check out robertcormack.net