“A little cornstarch between the legs helps cure 'The Wolf'...”

   “The Wolf”, “Cook’s Crack”, “Chef’s Cheeks” is an affliction that cooks get from time to time due to the long hours of standing on their feet, running around, the heat and sweat. As the heat and sweat build up, the rubbing of your upper legs and buttocks causes the skin in those areas becomes chafed and sensitive. Without proper attention it can get worse, very uncomfortable and painful. This can also happen in the armpits or anywhere else where skin rubs together but it seems to hit cooks in their “nether regions”.

   I have heard it called other names and I’m sure that every busy kitchen has its own name for it but I first heard of it, and was first afflicted by it in 1982 while I was working at the Westin Hotel in Winnipeg.

   This was the largest, best set up, and by far the nicest kitchen I had worked to date. It was a true European style brigade kitchen with an international team of Sous Chefs. It was very regimented and bordered on being military. The Executive Chef was Austrian, 2 Exec. Sous Chefs, one Austrian, one Japanese, and the rest of the Sous Chefs from Germany, England, Switzerland, France, but we did have one Canadian Sous Chef, his name was Dave.

   I learned an incredible amount in my 2 years of working here, the collective knowledge of the Chef and all the Sous Chefs was staggering. I learned daily about cooking, the basics of classical and modern French Cuisine. Every department made everything from scratch; Pates and Terrines from the Garde Manger, our own butcher department, obviously a bake/pastry shop, all our own stocks and sauces, separate banquet department. You can imagine that the Chef was very busy with a kitchen staff of over 120.

   Dave, the Canadian, was more of a friend and was a great support for explaining and interpreting how a kitchen works, the sociology, the “European mindset”, and other extraneous knowledge. It was Dave that first named it and explained to me about “The Wolf”. I was working breakfast and lunch in the restaurant which included our very busy Sunday Brunch, that was when I noticed the burning and chafing starting and it just got worse as the day progressed. After service was over I asked Dave about it and he laughed, “Ahhhhh, you have The Wolf”, he said, shook my hand and told me that now I was a true cook.

   Later, after work, Dave and I went for a beer, as we sometimes did. Dave would take these opportunities to talk to me about kitchens; Today’s topic, “The Wolf”. Apparently cornstarch applied to the affected area will help relieve it and I’ve heard this from other cooks. I have never tried it as my bouts with it never got too bad. I found a hot shower, as hot as you can stand it, or a hot bath helps, and talcum powder. Obviously clean, dry whites and change them as needed. In the Caribbean it was very hot in the kitchens and I would change my Chef’s jackets 3 to 4 times a night.

   Has anyone seen the movie “Chef”? Remember the “cornstarch” scene as they were driving down the highway on their road trip?

   This was one of Dave’s and mine earliest discussions but we had many after that. As Canadians we were a minority in the kitchen, during the early 80’s there were not too many Canadian Chef’s around, even the Chef de Partie positions at the Hotel were filled by Europeans. I was a lowly cook; I did eventually make it to Demi Chef in that Hotel.

   I had to sympathize with Dave, he was a Sous Chef and the other Sous Chefs still made him feel like an outsider in many ways, they were an exclusive club, the Europeans. Dave and I got along because I was one of the few Canadians in the kitchen along with him; I was someone that he could talk to, someone he could relate to. I was also keen and willing to learn and he wanted to sincerely help me, we needed as many Canadians as we could get, seriously, we felt outnumbered.

   I was always shy, thin skinned, and very afraid of confrontation. I found the behaviour in the kitchen could sometimes be quite brutal, that was because of my emotional attachments to it. During my discussions with Dave he would constantly tell me that first and foremost do not take anything personally, it’s the nature of the business. He said to me, which I’ve heard from other Chef’s, “This is not the business for the faint of heart”, “If it doesn’t kill you, it just makes you stronger”, “Take everything as a challenge”. I appreciated the fact that Dave understood my mindset, and took the time to address my questions and concerns intellectually. I was still very young and had a lot to learn, the Europeans had the habit of writing us off as undedicated and uncommitted, they figured that we wouldn’t last long in this business which is actually true in most cases, the failure rate in kitchens is very high, but not me, and obviously not with Dave as he was an accomplished Chef in his own right and held a very respectable position at the nicest hotel in Manitoba.

   Although we talked about many things my main issue seemed to revolve around the attitude that I was getting from the Europeans, their callous and brutal behaviour with me, and how it was wearing on me. It was getting to me, I was perturbed, I was stressed and tense, it was irritating and I was beginning to chafe; who did they think they were treating me this way? Dave understood and was supportive but eventually he got tired of my whining and one night put his foot down. He told me to cut the crap, to be a man, to wake up and deal with it and carry on with my life. Along with all the other advice which he told me, Dave said to me, “A coward dies a thousand deaths, a courageous man only once”, he then took it a step further, “You know that you’re going to die one day, is there anything else that will affect you more profoundly than that?” That hit a chord in me, I know that Dave had never read any Carlos Castaneda but this is similar to what Don Juan told Carlos. (I’m a big fan of the writings of Carlos Castaneda, “The Teachings of Don Juan”), Dave had found an angle that would get through to me. Dave carried the point home even further, “If you have an issue you need to deal with it”, “If you have “The Wolf” you need to take care of it or it will continue to fester and get worse”. “Life is far too short my friend to screw around”. I actually think that Dave was angry with me but that was fine, he did it, his statements were just the catalyst I needed, my mind unlocked and thoughts just started flowing through me.

   It’s funny that we can read something, be told something and intellectually accept it and believe it but sometimes it takes time for the lesson to actually sink in, sometimes years, and there are still some that I’m trying to learn to this day. The point is for all the reading I’d done, all the things I’d been told, all those points in my mind were just sitting there dormant, unutilized until Dave’s comment of, “If you have “The Wolf” you need to take care of it or it will continue to fester and get worse”. So many thoughts were unleashed, it was an avalanche of points that I already knew but I had yet to claim them as knowledge.

   The first thoughts that erupted out of me were all the points that Dave had talked to me about over the past year; maybe it was his voice or familiarity with me that was the natural catalyst for those thoughts to come through. As soon as I thought, “Hey this sounds like Don Juan talking”, a whole new string of thoughts came flooding through.

   A few of the basic premises of Don Juan’s teachings discuss the subject of Death. As morbid as this sounds it is a reality, absolutely no escape so as Don Juan says, “use that knowledge to your advantage”, use death as your advisor, when taken in this context everything else becomes equal, mundane, and unimportant especially your personal issues and problems. He goes on to say that you should perform every act as if it your “last stand on earth”, (which is a definite possibility), in this frame of mind you will probably perform as best as you can, this frame of mind cuts all the crap, you will be inclined to behave more “impeccably”. Not knowing when you’re going to die is a mystery for everyone but think about this, when you do “go” do you want to be mad, upset, depressed, unhappy? Do you want to have those crappy feelings inside you, take them to the grave with you? Or do you want to behave “impeccably”, trying to cut the crap, trying to perform to your potential, trying to “go out with a bang”, your spirit shining because your fighting your “last stand on earth “to the best of your ability, you’ve accepted the fact that you are going to go so you might as well do it in the best way that you can.

   Again, just because you know something doesn’t make it any easier to digest and practice. To this day I still get angry, I get upset, frustrated but when I think to myself, “I might be dead in 10 minutes”, it sure makes my frustrations seem small and petty by comparison.

   While I was thinking these thoughts some Buddhist revelations came filtering through. Again concepts that I’d read about, understood and agreed with and accepted but were still not an integral part of my being. They were also being crystallized inside of me from Dave’s discussion. What an Epiphany!

   “Anxiety is caused by the discrepancy between our perceptions/expectations of what we think reality should be, and what reality actually is”.

   Having accepted this premise you now have the choice of how to rectify it. Something needs to change and you need to change it. Your choices are to either change your perceptions or change reality. Can you change reality? Absolutely not, so your only choice is to change your perception, which is the only way to get relief. Now this is not as easy as it sounds, again just because you read something and intellectually agree with it does not mean that it is absorbed automatically. It is a struggle, as all worthy “battles” are but it is a joy to take on this challenge.

   I was so busy being concerned about other people’s perspectives that it detracted from my own development. I was too concerned about the European’s attitudes towards me, pondering why they gave me such a hard time and I was indulging in my feelings of persecution. What a waste of time and energy!

   Dave could see that I was having an epiphany; he could see the wheels turning so he just sat back quietly, enjoyed his beer, and observed.

   And now a revelation crystallized in my head; did I view “The Wolf” in these terms? Did I take it personally when I got “The Wolf”, did I whine and cry “Why me?” when I got “The Wolf”? Of course not, I looked at it objectively and although it’s an inconvenience I dealt with it. It was a condition caused by a series of events that I could deal with without a second thought, there was no emotional attachment. And the next thought that occurred to me; that’s the same perspective that the Europeans viewed me! They didn’t care about me, there was no emotional attachment regarding me, why would there be, why would they waste their time? And here’s the real question; why should they even give me a second thought? I was self centered, narrow minded, I knew nothing and I was inhibited to learn due to my attitude. At that moment my attitude changed.

   I then remembered a Zen story in which the Zen master is pouring tea for his disciple. The master filled the teacup but when it was full he still continued to pour even as the cup was overflowing. The disciple exclaimed, “Master! What are you doing?” To which the master replied, “I’m giving you an analogy; what’s the point of teaching you when your mind is already full? It’s like me trying to pour this tea into a cup that’s already full”. My mind was full; full of my ideas that I had knowledge when in reality I knew nothing; the point is if you think that you already know everything, that you have knowledge then you will not learn anything. This is the point where your “battle’ with your ego is so important, the ego is one of the biggest hurdles to cross to attain knowledge. This is not a question of “swallowing your pride”, it’s a question of getting rid of it all together, you’re better off without it. I realized, yet again and it wouldn’t be the last time, my ego is getting in the way once more.

   I looked at Dave and smiled, I started talking, trying to tell him of my revelations but I was tongue tied, didn’t know where to begin or how to begin. There was so much information flowing through me that I was overwhelmed and would take me a good while to process it. Dave smiled and said that he saw the “light bulbs” go off and there was no need to talk about it at the moment. We finished our beers in silence; I thanked Dave profusely and walked home, my mind processing the whole way.

   These revelations were the “corn-starch” I so desperately needed to remedy the “mental chafing” I was experiencing, (or as it actually turns out, the “mental chafing” which I perceived I was experiencing).

   At work the next day I noticed a real change in my outlook, in my perspective. I was actually eager for the Chef to walk by my station and for the interaction, I was no longer afraid and for me the concept of “confrontation” was no longer in my mind. There was only the challenge and opportunity waiting for me. Sure enough the Chef walked by and without even a hello he started his criticisms, “Your station’s a mess, those chopped shallots are too big, why are those chickens still in the sink, etc.” Now my usual response would be to get upset, feel pressured, start defending myself and make excuses but not today. I didn’t even stop working, I was slicing mushrooms, I looked Chef in the eye and said, “Yes Chef”, “It won’t happen again Chef”, and continued working. Chef pondered for a moment and walked away with a smile on his face, he saw a change in me. (This is something I learned, a Chef doesn’t want to hear whining or excuses, he doesn’t want someone around who is constantly defending themselves, all the Chef wants to hear is, “Yes Chef, it won’t happen again Chef”). The next day when he walked by my station was clean and organized, my shallots were a perfect brunoise, small and uniform. He did find some other things to comment on but now I was not taking it as a criticism, this was training and I wasn’t taking it personally. Emotionally my life became much easier, the personal stress was much less and I actually felt that I was working harder. I looked forward to my interactions with Chef now, I was no longer intimidated. It was a couple of weeks later when Chef came by my station and had no comments regarding my station or my work, he actually started a conversation. He asked if I would be interested in moving to banquets to try it out, he said he wanted to train me there for a while. I said yes, of course I would and that I would be very happy to do that. He smiled and walked away. I didn’t care where he put me I was just happy that he was actually noticing me and thought me worthy to train in other areas.

   After 6 months in Banquets I was promoted to Demi Chef and moved to the fine dining room, “The Velvet Glove” for dinner service as the entremetier, the vegetable cook, which was an excellent move. Chef had moved me around and trained me in all the kitchens; regardless of my previous experience, 5 years in kitchens and I had just come out of Cooking school when I started here, I consider this hotel as my true apprenticeship.

   As much as it would seem that the Chef and Sous Chefs, who I got along with much better after my “epiphany”, had changed their attitude and behaviour, and that life got better with less stress, that is just not the case, they were the same people; the stresses were the same stress, the reality was still the same reality. What changed was my perception of reality and how I fit into it. Instead of fighting reality, the inevitable, I changed my perspective and it opened doors. It was a strategic manoeuvre to better my condition. I changed with the help of Dave, he showed me the way, he opened the door and I walked through. By changing my perception of reality, my reality became easier to cope with and to rationalize.

   So here’s a thought to keep in mind next time you think that Chef is riding you, pushing you, being overly critical of you; is he picking on you? Does he have nothing better to do with his time? Or is he managing his kitchen and training you at the same time? Perhaps it's time to consider changing your perspective and appreciate the experiences and the learning as they happen; your life will become a lot easier and more enjoyable. The Chef may turn out to be one of the influential Mentors in your life.

   Dave and I still enjoyed our beers and chats together; he was a guy that never ran out of things to say or funny stories to tell. Along with the continual learning in the kitchen I was also still learning from Dave, he was a great mentor. My confidence grew and I started coming out of my shell to a degree and started getting more active in the conversations with Dave, I enjoyed talking about philosophy, as did Dave so we were never short on conversation. It was a great excuse to drink more beer.

   The bottom line is if you get “The Wolf” fix it, whether it’s cornstarch, or a very hot shower, whatever your solution just deal with it and get on with your life. Anything in your life that is an irritation should be dealt with ASAP, stop the “chafing” or it will get worse. As simple as this sounds I did not always think like this. I was afraid of confrontation, I procrastinated taking action, and I wasn’t taking everything “as a challenge”. I was timid, and self conscious but the kitchen cured me of that, it was either change or fail. I was aware of all of this intellectually but it was Dave’s analogy of “The Wolf” that crystallized it in my mind, allowed my being to accept it, then I could truly claim it as knowledge.

   Happy Cooking Everyone!