Jim Murray

5 years ago · 2 min. reading time · visibility ~10 ·

chat Contact the author

thumb_up Relevant message Comment

A Quiet Little Essay On Solitude

Murray + Creative Director
Onwords & Upwords Inc. &
beBee Brand Ambassador
I am a communications professional,
arily a strategist & writer. I work with
small to mid sized businesses, designers,

art/creative directors & consultants to
ate results driven, strategically focused
mmunications in all on & offline media.

Iam also a communications mentor,
lyricist & prolific op/ed beBee blogger.
: 416 463-3475 + Bmail: onandup3@gmail com » Skype: jimbobmur6l

When I started using this blog, and the column that came before it, as a way to chronicle my life and times and share whatever bits of communications wisdom I had accumulated, I never realized what it would actually reveal about me.
One of the things that has become most obvious to me is that I really don’t mind being alone.
In the world we live in, with all the communication devices we have at our disposal, with phones and email chirping at us all day, I consider myself very fortunate to be able to control most of that and work, to a great degree, in solitude.

I’m Not Alone In My View

I was talking to my brother-in-law, Bob Twidle, a while back. He’s in a similar situation to me in that he is at home most of the day, where he works on his painting, which became his passion after he retired from the doctor business.

dd0e5d33.jpg

He believes, like I do, that solitude is a wonderful thing and like me, cherishes whatever periods of solitude he is able to have each day.
This is not to say there is anything wrong with companionship or the social side of life.
I have an abundance of that as well.
My wife is a high energy and very social person. My kids and their spouses and grandsons are all close by and very much in my life. And I have a couple of friends that I meet with regularly to bitch about and or resolve the world’s problems.
I also try to make it down to see my sisters and brother in Fort Erie as often as I can. And a spend a bit of time every day on social media, which is a form of 21st century companionship.
So it’s not like I’m living in a cave in the Northwest Territories somewhere. I also have a lot of social/business contacts through LinkedIn, Facebook and BeBee as well as regular clients, associates and suppliers I work with in my creative development business.
But the time when I am most at peace in body and mind is when I am sitting here in my home office hammering away at an ad or web site content or these posts.
Solitude Doesn’t Mean Lonely

A lot of people I know think that having all this time to myself must be lonely. But that opinion is more a product of how they would feel if they were in my situation.
I don’t think I have ever really been lonely that I can recall.
It’s not about loneliness. If I did feel lonely, I would do something about it. I would find a freelance gig that required me to be on location so that I could have that non-stop social/business interaction.
But hey, everybody’s constructed in a certain way. My life has been this way for the better part of the last 25 years, since I left the highly frenetic agency business and its kind of grown on me.
For me, as a writer and art director and thinker, the more time I have to think unimpeded the better my work tends to be.
Don't get me wrong, I really loved working as part of a group in the agency days. And I enjoy the occasional interactions I have these days. But I also did a lot of my best writing back then, late at night…in solitude.

Different Strokes For Different Folks

Everybody is wired a little differently.
Some thrive in groups. Some like to get up and share their knowledge in front of a crowd, and still others, like me, tend to prefer dealing with the world one on one.
There’s no right or wrong way to be. But it is helpful to your body and your mind if you can actually live the way it’s most comfortable for you to live.
You will also be more productive, and of course happier.
And if you can be half as happy in your solitude as I am in mine, well, you’ll be doing alright.

21c3b4a7.png

If you want to read more of my stuff, you can do that here:

https://www.bebee.com/publisher/@jim-murray

Download my free ebook, Small Business Communications For The Real World, here:

https://onwordsandupwords.wordpress.com/2013/11/24/small-business-communications-for-the-real-world/

All my profile and contact information can be accessed here:

https://www.bebee.com/producer/@jim-murray/this-post-is-my-about-page

All content copyright & Images 2016 Jim Murray. All rights reserved.


"""
thumb_up Relevant message Comment
Comments

Jim Murray

5 years ago #19

#29
Thanks Gert...I have a new post coming out about how I feel about BeBee. I think you're like it.

Gert Scholtz

5 years ago #18

Jim Murray A quiet and excellent post Jim. I find solitude necessary to reset myself internally. Also an introvert, it is as if outside impressions get to a saturation point and I need to delve internally to harmonize my being. Thank you Jim.

Kevin Pashuk

5 years ago #17

I've been spending a great deal of mental energy lately contemplating solitude. As you say, it's not about being alone, but what you do during that time that is transformational. As an introvert, it is a necessary time to allow all the bouncing balls in my brain to settle down into the slots they were designed to be in, and charges me up to go out and slay the next metaphorical dragon. Thanks for adding some good material to ponder Jim.

Jim Murray

5 years ago #16

#26
Thanks Sharon Fulgenzi. I hope I don't let give you cause to regret your decision to be a Bee.
I loved the Fortress of Solitude. The meaning behind that image is quite powerful. If a fortress of solitude was important to Superman, why not us?

Jim Murray

5 years ago #14

#20
Steve Brady...not linked to you but will be. Beautifully said.

Jim Murray

5 years ago #13

#20
Stever Brady...not linked to you but will be. Beautifully said.

Lisa Gallagher

5 years ago #12

Thanks for sharing a bit more about you Jim Murray. I agree, there is nothing wrong with solitude. I used to be a social butterfly and never took the time I may have needed or realized I needed to be alone & find what excites my brain or relaxes it without others around. I grew up the oldest of 5 kids and my life was busy. I had a lot of responsibilities (without any regrets) that mom placed on me out of necessity after dad died. I married young, had children young, began working at the age of 15 and it wasn't until my daughter was in her latter years in HS that I realized I cherished my alone time. That's when I began to write and read a lot more, especially reading! I think it's great that you and your wife have an understanding that this works for you both. That's love! I found over the past few years I love just traveling with my camera not knowing where I may end up. Another trip is due soon, just for me :) I enjoy your writing(s) Jim!

David B. Grinberg

5 years ago #11

Jim Murray, I like your points about having gratitude for solitude, albeit in the right quantity for each person.
Being comfortable with your life is what counts. Being able to take time for yourself, spend time with family and friends and still meet your goals is the ultimate dream. We learn a little more about Jim Murray with each post he writes.

Jim Murray

5 years ago #9

#6
Philippe Collard...that's a pretty cool metaphor.

Jim Murray

5 years ago #8

#9
Thanks Fatima Williams

Jim Murray

5 years ago #7

#10
Yes sir, Phil Friedman That is a true thing.

Phil Friedman

5 years ago #6

Not to appear grumpy, Jim Murray, but I have to point out that whether one enjoys solitude depends on whether one is in good company when alone. Cheers!

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

5 years ago #5

It is lovely to know where all this brillance is drawn from. Enjoyed reading this Thanks Jim Murray

Philippe Collard

5 years ago #4

One of my favorite poems is by an English write who said: "An island is a lake in reverse". If you think about it in the context of "solitude", you will get the meaning. Thanks Jim Murray!

Pascal Derrien

5 years ago #3

Solitude and loneliness are different things, when chosen it is highly enjoyable and many people have now an hybrid modus operandi where they can retreat and choose when to underexpose themselves as way to get by, it is important to reload the batteries as long you don't shut down people which is obviously not your case we are all hermits at times I suppose :-)

Jim Murray

5 years ago #2

#3
Darryl John...It's important to understand that everything I wrote in this piece only applies, ofr certain, to me. Other people are going to have different takes on it, as you did. That's the nature of the blogging beast. Thanks for your comment.

Jim Murray

5 years ago #1

#1
Thanks Irene Hackett. The best reward in doing this stuff is comments like yours.

More articles from Jim Murray

View blog
1 month ago · 2 min. reading time

Nine Essential Communication Insights

After two decades in the advertising agency busine ...

2 months ago · 3 min. reading time

Fifty Years With One Wife and No Ties

Fifty years ago this year, I was 24, and married a ...

2 months ago · 2 min. reading time

Is Blogging Dead Or Just Behaving Differently?

A lot of the people who know me on social media as ...