Jim Murray

6 years ago · 4 min. reading time · 0 ·

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A Story About My Friend, Phil Friedman

A Story About My Friend, Phil Friedman

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I have made a lot of friends over the years, in the advertising business, in my consulting business and on line as well.
One of the best online friends I have is a guy named Phil Friedman. We met back on LinkedIn, before life went to hell for writers there when they stopped issuing notifications.
The thing I like about Phil is that he is a real writer. There are a lot of people on social and business media sites who write. But relatively few who are real writers, and by this I mean writers who make their living transferring words and ideas from their heads into various forms of media and getting paid for doing it.
I am one of those people myself and I immediately recognized that Phil was the real deal.

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As I followed his work, I also realized that not only was he an excellent writer, he was a real person of integrity, and by that I mean that he refused to suffer fools. You might even say that he was pugnacious in this regard, Really skillful writers don’t really fear too much and always welcome criticism, providing that it is well reasoned and actually makes a point.
The other thing that I came to realize was that he was using his writing to help other people with theirs. He would not just write articles about the boating industry, which is his main area of expertise, he would write about all kinds of other things.
In this regard, he and I were a lot alike. We both like the idea of giving back and using whatever skills and insights we have acquired along the way to advise people coming up on how to get better at writing or whatever their passion happens to be.
As our writer-to-writer relationship developed, we started chatting offline and decided that it might be fun to write something together. This was done mainly in the spirit of showing others with whom we were connected (in The Lumpy Kingdom at that time) another way to create solid posts.
So we started a collaborative series of posts which we call He Said He Said. To date, we have done 29 of these posts, which included an interview with Javier Rica, one of the founders of beBee.
We have had a lot of fun doing this, and don’t really see any end in sight for these columns. One of the reasons that these posts have attracted a substantial amount of views and engagement has to do with the fact that we do not edit them. We write them quickly so as to simulate, as closely as possible, a real time conversation.
But the thing that really makes it work, is the respect we have for each other as professionals.
And this brings me to the bigger point. Over the three years or so that I have known Phil and followed his writing, I have noticed that he has picked up more than his share of assholes (aka trolls), somehow seem intent on denigrating whatever ideas he is communicating in his posts.
I have picked up my share of them, as I’m sure most of us have, but Phil’s trolls are a little different, in that they don’t come and go like most trolls do. They stick around. They are like irritating little mosquitoes in your tent. They buzz and buzz, actually saying nothing of consequence, but their persistence can be both really irritating and, in a way, detrimental to your posts.
Phil’s trolls tend to have a holier-than-thou attitude. It comes across as a strange form of jealousy. But sadly for these trolls, they are not the intellectual equal of Phil. And though Phil always tries to be respectful, the constant badgering that these clowns do, will eventually get to anybody. So Phil lashes back at them. And while it makes for an interesting albeit weird comment stream, it really does tend to be a distraction.
After we both moved to beBee, the trolling continued for Phil and he had no recourse but to start complaining to Javier about it.
Sadly, the upshot of all this was that Phil, who is arguably the most popular English language blogger on beBee, was demoted from his brand ambassador status, and his two trolls were banned from the site. (IMHO, tossing the baby out with the bath water).
But then about a month later, one of them was back under a modified name. I’m sad to report that this guy is Canadian (definitely atypical), and seemed to have a rather unnatural attraction to Phil. He believed that Phil was a fraud. Which of course made him a crazy. This same guy also believed that I was too bitter and twisted and that my personal brand was fucked beyond repair, which, of course made him a pompous ass, especially when he had no personal brand of his own to speak of, wrote very few posts and spent most of his time trolling Phil full time and me occasionally.
Last night I got a Beezermail from Phil, (the Beezers are myself, Phil, Don 🐝 Kerr and Kevin Pashuk ), with a link to Phil’s latest post where he outlined his brilliant boat in a box idea.
https://www.bebee.com/producer/@friedman-phil/for-immediate-release-innovative-approach-to-world-cruising-unveiled

The comment stream on this post was polluted by a couple of people, one of whom was Phil’s pet Canadian troll and the other was from some guy in New Zealand, whose comments on both Phil’s and my posts are starting to show signs of ‘trollness’.
Fortunately, Javier had been following this and caught it. I admire the generosity of Javier in giving Phil’s troll a second chance, but when the showed up again, I let Javier know that it would probably be just a matter of a couple of weeks until he reverted to form and would have to be banned again.
Sure as hell, that’s what happened.
Why I Wrote This Post

I wrote this post so that people could really understand that Phil is not a drama queen of any sort. He is a damn good writer. He’s a really smart marketing person and knows, probably better than anybody I have ever met, how to create positive engagement on social media sites.
He has never, to my knowledge, attacked anyone. But he has had a steady stream of attackers over the years. I for one, admire the skill with which he deals with them.
The quality of Phil’s writing and the integrity he consistently shows is something we could all file under good role models to have.
Social media tends, in its way, to reflect the real world. The real world is becoming a more lawless place than it has been in my recent memory. It’s my hope that this lawlessness and chaos does not find its way here in any way that damages this site or victimizes anyone who belongs to it.
We need civility more than ever these days. And we need people like Phil, who have great ideas, communicate them extremely well and engage people in a positive way.

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Jim Murray is a marketer, communication strategist, writer, art director & blogger. His partner, Charlene Norman is a business systems and operational analyst. Their collaboration is called Bullet Proof Consulting, headquartered in St Catharines, Ontario. Bullet Proof is designed to help companies change their thinking for the better, to become more productive and efficient, better branded and successful in today’s highly competitive business world. You can get a very clear impression of how we think at www.bulletproofconsulting.ca

All content & graphics Copyright 2017 Onwords & Upwords Inc. All rights reserved.

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Comments

Phil Friedman

6 years ago #13

#16
Just to be clear, Peter, my personal position has always been (and always will be) that everyone has a right to express him or herself. However, at the same time, nobody is obligated to read or listen or pay attention to what that person has to say. Moreover, while I've never objected to being the target of on-point criticism, I firmly believe that an author's post should not be an open forum in the sense that anyone can post anything in the comments thread of another author's post. For that is like requiring a magazine to provide space for just anybody to publicize whatever they want. My feeling is that if you feel strongly about a particular post being wrong, publish your own piece saying so. Then take your chances on whether anyone will pay attention. Don't try to springboard on the established readership of the author whom you're criticizing. Or push some other agenda which you may have. Just saying. Cheers!

Jerry Fletcher

6 years ago #12

Jim, Way to weigh in! That's what friends are for! I, for one, have endeavored not to let the negatrons get to me. It is nice to see to see two guys I admire have each others backs. And to see Javier react as well. There is enough inadvertent disagreement in the world without having to put up with intentional malevolence. We may not always agree but how we disagree is what makes a difference. Calm, rational discussion usually leads to both sides learning and modifying their viewpoint. Nobody gets anywhere when a conversation becomes character assassination.

Pascal Derrien

6 years ago #11

Right on the button Jim Murray) is that he is discreet supporter of many and does not have the need to over publicize his actions in that domain, he is sometimes misunderstood for some reasons that do escape me but he is one the best of us...... :-)

Milos Djukic

6 years ago #10

Phil Friedman.

Phil Friedman

6 years ago #9

#4
Jim, this is just about the nicest, most decent thing anyone outside my immediate family has ever done for me. Not only because of the overly kind things that you say about me but because it takes real care and sizable cajones to speak out in these circumstances. And I appreciate it more than I can express. My thanks also go out to all the others who have posted their support here and elsewhere on beBee and earlier on LinkedIn. Being stalked by "the troll" goes back more than three years to my publishing on LinkedIn. I lost count of the number of times he challenged my authenticity and implied or even stated outright that there was no support for the things I said about my background and experience or the things I do in my core business. Never mind that all of those claims are well documented in photo-illustrated portfolios on my LinkedIn profile. And never mind that my LI profile includes a half dozen letters of recommendation from prominent marine industry people with whom I've work, for whom I've worked, and who have worked for me. Real people with verifiable identities who can be found and reached (even on LinkedIn) as queried as to the authenticity of the recommendations. https://www.linkedin.com/in/friedmanphil/ It didn't matter that I pointed this out to "the troll" at least a couple dozen times over the years. As it did not matter that, when he challenged my claim to have published more than 1,000 print and digital articles in magazines and on the web, I responded with verifiable documentation of the claim. https://www.bebee.com/producer/@friedman-phil/i-ll-show-you-mine-then-you-show-me-yours ... cont. pt. II

Phil Friedman

6 years ago #8

#4
Jim - pt. II. No, he continued to attempt to despoil my posts and my business reputation with unsupported claims and vague innuendo. Indeed, when I once called him on not speaking to the point of one of my pieces, he proudly informed me that he never read anyone's article and rarely even read through the comment thread, but commented based on the last comment that caught his eye. And he gleefully bragged that none of it was worth his time -- never seeing the irony of what he was saying, given he stalked my profile almost every day to see where my posts were appearing. The hardest part of all of it was that when, from time to time, I had it up to "here" and I responded with a sharp tongue, I would be labeled by some who were not aware of the circumstances, as being negative and disagreeable. And when I simply ignored his mean-spirited, disingenuous comments, other labeled me as haughty and exclusionary. Which is why I appreciate so much your stepping forward to set the record straight. Thank you again, my friend.

Jim Murray

6 years ago #7

#10
Thanks .

David B. Grinberg

6 years ago #6

Kudos on this post, Jim, I couldn't agree more with your characterization of Phil Friedman. I likewise became acquainted with Phil's talents in the so-called "Lumpy Kingdom" and we quickly developed a professional networking relationship. I admire Phil for all of the reasons you mentioned. Most importantly, IMHO, Phil always speaks his mind and speaks "truth to power" as they say. He's not afraid to be blunt and, like an umpire, call it as he sees it. This sometimes can rub some people the wrong way. However, I've always found Phil to engage with the utmost of civil discourse, honesty and integrity. Moreover, many historians and others of high intellect equate one aspect of true leadership with telling people what they DON'T want to hear. In short, Phil is an exemplary individual, and expert writer, and a man of the highest integrity. He is a role model who deserves accolades. Thus, I tip my hat to Phil because even when we strongly disagree on the issues, we both do so in a respectful manner that showcases the best of civil discourse in a social media space that is too often toxic. Finally, any professional writer learns quickly that you can't have "thin skin" in this field. However, when one's reputation is directly challenged or tarnished, and their veracity questioned, then it's "no holds barred" in defending oneself and correcting the record. I admire the fact that Phil does not back down, back off, of give in to trolls. He fights for what he believes is right in good conscience and with facts. He is indeed an honorable and admirable person whom I am proud to call my friend.

mohammed khalaf

6 years ago #5

I learn about the art of writing here on beBee. The platform has a superbly skilled and diverse group of writers , honey-makers all of them are creative.

Jim Murray

6 years ago #4

#1
Thanks Javier \ud83d\udc1d beBee...I really wrote this for people who didn't have the whole story. You guys are great. Which is why we love being here.
#2
Kevin Pashuk I agree. I can say I have a lot of canadians friends. Thanks beBee.

Kevin Pashuk

6 years ago #2

Great friendships are built on beBee.. and good friends support each other. This is a great example of such a friendship.
Thanks Jim Murray for your words. Definetely the troll came back and started to disturb again. I call them "wasps". He is OUT again. Bye bye wasps 🐝🐝🐝😊😊😊😎😎

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