Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago · 4 min. reading time · ~100 ·

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Arse over Tea Kettle – When getting out of your comfort zone isn’t appropriate.

Arse over Tea Kettle – When getting out of your comfort zone isn’t appropriate.

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You heard it many times.

If you are going to do anything meaningful, you have to get off your butt and get out of your comfort zone.

This is great advice…

… until it isn’t.

For the record, I firmly believe too many leaders (and people) miss out on many opportunities because they are afraid of change, of doing new things that they know are the right thing to do.

They retreat to a safe place…

… a place of comfort

… a place where they feel in control.

But I’m not here to talk about that today.

There are times when being out of your comfort zone isn’t courage, but rather more appropriately defined as stupidity.

If you will indulge me to tell you a (true) story, I will explain.

I recently returned from a family vacation on the beautiful Caribbean island Sint Maarten. This is a tropical paradise. The island is essentially two countries, one French controlled, and the other Dutch.

The beaches are wonderful. Fine white sand and rolling breakers that provide a wonderful playground for winter weary Canadians to kick off their galoshes and don sandals for a brief respite from the cold weather.

In December, the breakers can grow big (by our standards). A seven foot high wall of water was not uncommon as the cycle of waves rolled in.

The savvy swimmers would wait for the wave to break, then quickly get out a little way, then bob like corks in the warm tropical water.

Exiting the ocean was a similar feat. Wait for the big waves to pass, then get to shore between the surges.

A bit of a background.

There are two kinds of people in the world.

There are those people that can float. My wife for example… she can lay on her back, cross her legs at her ankles, put her hands behind her head, and rest on top of the water as if she was a cork.

I am in the other category – the non-buoyant body type that immediately seeks the deepest depth of any body of water it is immersed in.

I have tried everything… relaxing, filling my lungs with air, etc., etc., etc. Buoyant people just can’t understand my dilemma. They have more advice than a reformed smoker.

I can attain a degree of buoyancy in salt water while snorkeling, but if I lift my head, my feet take that as a signal that they should immediately sound the ‘DIVE’ horn and begin their descent to the bottom of the ocean.

Suffice it to say that when we went swimming in the big waves, the buoyant people, meaning every member of my family but me, happily bobbed along the ocean surface while I had to consistently tread water to prevent a tragedy.

I got tired rather quickly, and as such headed for shore before the rest of the clan.

Being in the water was definitely out of my comfort zone, but I did it to be part of the family.

It seemed to work out until my tired body decided to head to shore.

Remember what I said earlier about the savvy swimmers timing their exit so as to not be bowled over by the big waves crashing on shore?

Apparently in my tired state, I had forgotten this important detail.

I was so glad to have my feet touch bottom that I didn’t see the wall of water until the last moment.

I had time to take a gulp of air before the wave pummeled me into the beach. There was no concept of up or down, and whilst the wave was tossing me about, it was filling every pore and crevice with a layer of churning sand.

I emerged from the water just in time to see the next wall descending and get another gulp of air. More tossing, more pummeling, and more sand in places that should never see sand.

Once again, any dignity I may have possessed was gone in a moment. I now appreciate how a linebacker feels when the football player nicknamed ‘The Refrigerator’ tackles him.

I came up again further up the beach. The next wave wasn’t so big, but still had enough force to propel me up the beach another several feet.

My darling wife was trying to look concerned, but I knew she was really stifling a good belly laugh at my expense, while she merrily bobbed along on the surface.

Here’s the point.

The ocean had nothing against me. The waves come in and flow out regardless of whether or not there is anybody there ready to be pummeled.

I had gotten myself into a situation where I had exceeded my strengths and abilities.

While I survived with little more than my ego bruised and my swimsuit packed full of sand, others didn’t do so well that day. We heard that among the other guests there were two dislocated shoulders and one broken arm that day.

Like my buoyancy, or lack thereof, there are areas in my life where I do not have innate ability. Attempting to ‘jump out of my comfort zone’ and ‘fake it till I make it’ do not apply to every situation.

I will still go into the ocean.

A little wiser than before, and probably not when the conditions are beyond my capacity to handle them.

My advice?

Know your strengths and limits. Find the path that leverages your strengths and mitigates your shortcomings.

If you are fortunate enough to lead a team, this is where you hire people who have the strengths and skills you don’t. Your team’s set of skills is a composite of all the members.

Don’t live a life that is fearful of trying new things… but when you venture out, be wise.

Now excuse me while I go somewhere private and try to get rid of this sand.

________________________________________________________

Image: express.co.uk

About the Author:

33edb9e2.jpgI’m the Chief Information Officer for Appleby College, in Oakville, Ontario Canada, where my team is transforming the delivery of education through innovative application of technology. I'm also a beBee Brand Ambassador.

I'm convinced that IT leadership needs to dramatically change how IT is delivered rather than being relegated to a costly overhead department.

In addition to transforming IT in my role as CIO, I look for every opportunity to talk about this... writing, speaking and now blogging on BeBee (www.bebee.com/@kevin-pashuk) , LinkedIn, ITWorld Canada, or at TurningTechInvisible.com.

I also shoot things... with my camera. Check out my photostream at www.flickr.com/photos/kwpashuk 


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Comments

Jim Murray

7 years ago #29

I've been totally out of my comfort zone since the 19th of December. I don't miss it one bit. Bring on the waves. You'd be surprised how long you can hold your breath if you have to. Good post Kevin Pashuk. Happy New Year, amigo.

Randy Keho

7 years ago #28

As much as I love being around water, I will never have your problem Kevin Pashuk. Years of swimming lessons as a youngster were a complete waste. You just can't teach a rock to swim. I will, however, reluctantly wade out into the water until my feet no longer touch the bottom, thus, preventing an embarrassing panic attack. After I've dried off, I head to the nearest comfort zone, which is referred to as a Tiki bar. That's where its wise to know your limits.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #27

Good suggestion Phil. I may have a beer with dinner, and I'll send you the tab.

Phil Friedman

7 years ago #26

#46
And Kevin, if anyone challenges your affection for beer, simply tell them you are working on improving your snorkeling skills.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #25

#45
Phil Friedman... from this day forward, I shall think of myself as 'muscular'. As for buoyancy... while I am not a scientist or kinesiologist, I'll take your word for it. All I know, is that if I ever drown, look for the body at the deepest point of the lake.

Phil Friedman

7 years ago #24

Kevin, Gerald Hecht, is correct. It is a matter of weight-to-body-volume ratio. It is not purely a matter of weight. Think Archimedes. Fill a tub completely full to the brim with water. Then immerse yourself completely, head and all. Capture the water overflow. Measure its volume in cubic feet. This is your overall body volume. Compare this to your weight. Determine your weight/volume ratio. Do the same for a "floater" (not a "dead soldier" in sewerological terms). Compare the ratio between you and the "floater". The floater will have a lower weight/volume ratio. The ratio is affected by the ratio of bone to overall body volume. Also by the ratio of muscle to fat. How this relates to the comments of the "professional" challenger of other people's ideas, I cannot say, and cannot discern. But no matter, I think. Come to think of it, perhaps the connection is an implicit suggestion to sell you some hot air, which would certainly help with your buoyancy. Cheers!

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

7 years ago #23

Excellent post Kevin Pashuk Well, your daring mettle gave you a timely lesson. Indeed, neither knowing your weakness is timidity nor gauging your strengths makes you prodigal. But, it makes you more cautious and caring to take sensible steps. :)

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #22

#39
I would like to think that this was a unique experience, but there were many other examples that day of people vs. wave... I think the locals call it 'Free Entertainment'.

Paul Walters

7 years ago #21

@kevin Pashuk You know,,,, I would have paid real money to see that !!!!

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #20

#29
Thanks Praveen. Where I work, the school's motto is "Nec temere nec timide" translated to be: "Never rash, but never timid". That pretty much sums up the point I was trying to make.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #19

#28
Thanks Lisa... At one time you could have probably walked across Lake Erie. Hope you took your swim (and I'm glad you had a rescuer) after they cleaned it up.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #18

#30
Thanks Harvey. The ego certainly took a hit that day.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #17

#32
Gerald, If you saw me on the beach, the words 'lean body mass' would never come to mind. :) So what I hear is, you are saying that I'm too dense to float? :) Should I fatten up?

Harvey Lloyd

7 years ago #16

Great story and used well to describe leadership principals. I have a similar story off the cost of North Carolina. The few seconds in the topsy tervy currents are quite reflective. Glad your experience was was only a ding to dignity.

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #15

Excellent advice Kevin Pashuk, some people know their limits yet do push beyond them and it can be a fatal error. When I was younger I decided to swim as far out into Lake Erie as I could (because I wanted to look cool). Well the waves picked up and I was brought out past the sandbar which was fairly far out. I began to get pulled in and panicked. Thank goodness a strong swimmer, a female, saw me and swam out to bring me back to shore. I learned it was no longer cool to to do things as you described above that could kill me. Did you see the planes flying over the beach? I've seen photos and they are freaky! I like how you tied your story about strengths and limits with regards to teams/work. Thanks for sharing this!

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #14

#23
I am convinced buoyancy has nothing at all to do with girth... or "Miller Time Muscle". People who weigh more than me float, and people who weigh less than me are also in the 'sinkers' club.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #13

#17
Thanks Franci.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #12

#16
The next time, I'll be strapping on one of those floaty things... If I want to bob with the best, I'll need artificial enhancement. Apparently a beer belly doesn't make you more buoyant.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #11

#15
Thanks Max... and I would agree with your disagreement to a point... Aside from external enhancement, I cannot make myself naturally buoyant... I would have been fine had I had the sense to bring something more buoyant than me out in the water... as such, I got tired... and stupid... which was the ultimate point of the post. Thanks for commenting.

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #10

Next time you decide to venture out to sea, Kev, why not borrow a surf board to help you float? You can always use it to surf the net if you get bored. 🤣

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #9

#6
Thanks Gerald. I'm the boulder in a family of corks... We spend a lot of time around the water... only our waves on the lake don't get that big.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #8

#5
Thanks Jared. I'm actually a Canadian football fan... We have a bigger field, only 3 downs and oh, we have bigger balls. :) I like the quote... for my kids I used a version of that, only shorter... "Don't. Be. Stupid."

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #7

#4
Sounds like you are lucky to still have a younger brother Pamela... I'm sure I provided some great entertainment for the locals as I was being battered on the beach. Happy holidays!

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #6

#3
Thanks Wayne for getting the analogy I was trying to make... Most people are mocking me for ending up like a beached whale. Glad you used your experience for learning.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #5

#2
Thanks Don... I can learn to surf, but I should wear a life vest...

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #4

#1
A friend of mine used to ask me along when he went sailing. Apparently I make good 'ballast'... I can assure you that anything that wasn't sand in my pants was washed away. Happy holidays to you too Phil.

Wayne Yoshida

7 years ago #3

Great analogy, Kevin. I experienced this in an un-wise career move a while ago. It was extremely stressful. But I got back on track. And now I advise people in similar career situations with similar precautions and advice. Happy New Year.

don kerr

7 years ago #2

Kevin Pashuk "You can't tame the waves but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn Good life advice! Happy New Year.

Phil Friedman

7 years ago #1

Just one question, Kevin -- Are you sure that is sand in your pants that you have to get rid of? Either way, sound advice, as usual. Cheers, and my very best to you and your family for the New Year.

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