Billy Bob and the tractor

BUBBA WAS PASSING BY BILLY BOB'S HAY BARN ONE DAY WHEN, THROUGH A GAP IN THE DOOR, HE SAW BILLY BOB DOING A SLOW AND SENSUAL STRIPTEASE IN FRONT OF AN OLD GREEN JOHN DEERE.

He performed a slow pirouette, and gently slid off first the right strap of his overalls, then the left. He then hunched his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move, let his overalls fall down to his hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt.

Then, grabbing both sides of his shirt, he ripped it apart to reveal his stained T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tore the T-shirt from his body and hurled his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.

Having seen enough, Bubba rushed in and said, "What the hell're ya doing, Billy Bob?"

“Good grief, Bubba, ya scared the stuffing outta me" said an obviously embarrassed Billy Bob,

"But me 'n the wife been havin' trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the therapist suggested I should act sexy to a tractor.”

(DON'T MAKE ME COME S'PLAIN THIS TO YOU! JUST READ THE LAST LINE AGAIN, SLOWLY.)

I hate it when people become all intellectual and talk about Mozart while they have never seen one of his paintings.

I saw a bumper sticker that said, I am a veterinarian and therefore, I can drive like an animal. I suddenly realized how many proctologists there were on the road.

Once upon a time, there was a king who was only 12 inches high. He was a terrible king, but he was a great ruler.