CPC Throwback Thursday Post: Who Makes Idiots?

This is a repost from a few years back, even before I came to beBee. It was done under something I used to call the Friday Nite Sermon. It later became my weekly rant.

There was no wind to speak of today so I went for a long ride at lunchtime. Whenever I do this, I invariably encounter at least half a dozen people whom I could easily assume were idiots of one kind or another.

And while I was marveling at all the stupidity around me, I started to wonder, much like astronomers wonder about the origins of the universe, where do all these idiots come from?

By the way, I’m aware that this sounds kind of elitist in a weird sort of way. But I can honestly say that while I do idiotic things with rather astounding regularity, like most of us, I’m really not an idiot. And neither is anyone else who occasionally does idiotic things.

No, what I’m talking about here is the real hard core idiot.

The idiot who can be found just about anywhere with an oversized baseball cap askew on his head and his pants holding on for dear life somewhere below his butt cheeks. The idiot who has zero regard for things like trash cans or other peoples’ personal space. The idiot, who despite very clear warnings in Jackass movies, not to try this stuff at home, tries it, records it and posts it everywhere he can think of. The idiots who continue to use their cell phones for talking and texting while driving, and give you the finger when they almost plow into you because they can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. The idiots who will allow themselves to be completely manipulated by other people and end up, for example, blowing themselves up in the middle of a mall or shopping bazaar in some middle eastern country.

These are the purebreds, some of whom actually take a weird sense of pride in their behavior.

Like any question that has to do with a subset of humanity, the answer is never simple. Most of the domestic idiots are nothing more that self-centred fashion victims, who saw some other idiot (on the street or in a music video or TV show) whom they thought was cool, dressing a certain way and emulated that. Get enough idiots doing that and you can actually start a trend.

A lot of these idiots take their cues from the media, mainly TV series. In today’s billion channel TV universe, idiots even have a few of their own channels. TLC, for example is pretty much wall to wall with idiot role model shows like Honey Boo Boo, Toddlers & Tiarras and The Shahs of Beverly Hills. MTV, which used to be a video channel, has now become a training channel for young idiots because….well you do have to start’em young if they are gonna grow into any sort of self-disrespecting adult idiot.

The Internet is another vital channel for idiots to express themselves. YouTube and assorted other social media outlets provide these morons with plenty of people to impress with their antics. And since everybody has a smart phone, it’s possible for just about everything to be recorded and uploaded. And the Internet, this perpetually starving monstrosity that constantly needs to be fed, welcomes it all, thus, in a passive aggressive way, encouraging these idiots to keep on being…well you know.

Now you could argue that everybody has the right to express their individuality, and I would agree with you. But by the same token, every idiot out there is some sort of accident waiting to happen. To themselves and to others.

Just recently I saw a very disturbing news article on a game that idiots play. A group of idiots walks down a street or through a mall or somewhere where there’s a lot of people, and then suddenly one of these idiots lashes out and punches some random person, as hard as they can, in the head. The idea is to knock that person unconscious with one punch. It’s all being videoed, of course, and posted to the Internet, almost the moment it happens.

This is pretty sick shit because there seems to be very little motive here other than to show it to as many people as possible. This sort of thing represents an escalation of the behaviour of idiots to a whole other level, one which, in this case, puts us all at risk of a concussion, broken facial bones, brain damage and even death.

The moral of this sermon is that, sadly, there is no concrete way to accurately identify, much less control the actions of, idiots. So the warning here is a simple on. Keep your guard up.

Because you just never know when an idiot may end up offending your sensibilities or damaging your body.

jim out

Jim Murray is a writer, a reader, a sports fan and a TV watcher who has been writing about the sports & entertainment worlds since1998, which is when he created the Couch Potato Chronicles.

Jim is also an ex-ad agency writer and art director and has run his own creative consultancy, Onwords & Upwords, since 1989. He lives with his wife in the Niagara area of Ontario, and works with companies that are trying to make a difference in the world.

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