Discovering Wisdom, Success, Fate and Truth

The following are four little stories about things that shaped my thinking about life. I believe there is a divine wisdom behind every experience. I also believe that everyone can be successful if they choose to be, that everything happens for a reason, and that we live our purpose by being true to ourselves. This is how I know.

The Mud Puddle

Is there anyone so wise as to learn by the experience of others? - Voltaire

I’ve always been an observer of human behaviour. As the youngest of five children, I have had lots of opportunity to learn from my siblings and to observe how their behaviour affected my parents and their own lives. As a child I observed my neighbours and friends as they experienced challenges and I developed a wisdom that went far beyond my years. I believe it is because of my tendency to observe and analyse behaviour that I have developed the ability to read people very well. If I am paying attention, I feel like I can see right inside people. I am often surprised at how bang on I can be in understanding what people are about.

It is my personal belief that we are all here to teach people something they need to know. We don’t know when we are teaching or who we are learning from until the deed is done. In my mind (and I could be all wrong), we are all healers interacting to heal the inner brokenness that hides inside each of us. Even the most inane things we do contain teachable moments. If you are aware and reflective, you can catch them.

One evening back in the early 1990’s, my husband dropped me off at the door of a drug store so I could pick up a prescription. He then parked the car and waited for me to come out. When I got back into the car my husband said to me, “Renée, you have to watch this. Do you see that big mud puddle over there? Watch people try to jump over it.” The puddle was very large and deceptively deep. People would decide to jump over the puddle thinking that they could just put their toes into the centre and leap to the other side. Unfortunately, whenever people put their foot into the middle of the puddle, they would discover that they were standing in about twelve inches of water. Needless to say we laughed our asses off for a good twenty minutes as person after person tried to leap across the puddle. Mean, I know, but it was incredibly entertaining!

I still laugh remembering people’s reactions to discovering they were in deep water, but I’ve always been left with the feeling that there was an important life lesson being taught to me that evening. It seems to me that the puddle really mirrors life. What, you say? Think about it. There are times when we find ourselves in difficulty and we have to make a judgement call. Is it better to keep going or to turn back? I always feel that if you are already wet, you may as well just keep moving forward, but how many people give up on pursuing something as soon as things get really tough? How often have you found yourself in a metaphorical mud puddle? What did you ultimately decide to do?

Indoor Rock Climbing

Success is due to our stretching to the challenges of life. Failure comes when we shrink from them. - John C. Maxwell

The Golf Course

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. - E.E. Cummings

When I was 21, I changed my religion and began a way of life that was vastly different from the one I grew up with. The result was that I lived in a bubble for twelve years. I learned everything I could about my new religion and practiced as perfectly as I could, exceeding everyone’s expectations. I lived in a veritable cultural coma, cut off from music, movies, modern books, even the evolving language of every day English. It was a bit like being in a cult. I get it when I see women on talk shows relating their experiences with religious fanatics and cults. I understand how it feels very well.

My parents were naturally upset to see me live this way, but I was having none of what they were telling me. I had to do what I believed was right. My mother told me I was not being true to myself and that I would not be happy. My father believed I would not stay, because I was a fun person and I would not be able to handle such a rigid existence. Looking back, I am amazed that I stuck it out so devoutly for twelve years.

It was a very painful time in my life, and twenty years after leaving, I still find it difficult to write or speak about it at length. I hate for people to know, but here I am sharing this because I know there was a wisdom behind all of it. Perhaps it was what I needed to do to learn the value of being true to yourself and not living life according the expectations of others. I always liked myself, but I gave up being my unique self for God. I now know that it is a human thing to expect people to conform to ideals, to follow rules and discourage deep thinking. Oh, I know; all religions think they are above that, but they are not.

One sunny October day I happened to be driving past a golf course. It looked beautiful and I thought how wonderful it would be to be able to golf on a Sunday morning and go have brunch somewhere. Living the life I chose, I knew I would never have that opportunity. I had educated myself, and would never be able to make use of it. I would never be allowed to achieve anything as long as I was married to my husband and living the life we were living.

I went home, called my mother and started to make plans to change my life. I had no idea what I was going to do or how I was going to do it, but I knew I had to make different decisions and leave that life behind. My brother called me and advised me to go to the business section of the library and borrow some business books about sales and leadership so that I could get a job. I began to read voraciously. One day, I picked up a little known Dale Carnegie book called, The Leader In You. Honestly, I don’t know what was in that book that resonated with me, but it absolutely changed my life. I started to see possibility and I began to become more of who I naturally was. In March of 1997, I broke free and was unstoppable. I have never gone back. I enjoy every breath I take. I refuse to be defined by others. I look forward to all the possibilities that lay before me. I love deeply and laugh often. I wish everyone could experience that kind of joy and power. You can't live your purpose being what other people want you to be. You must know yourself, love yourself, be courageous and be all of who you are if you are going to thrive at all in this world.