How to Knock Her Socks Off: The Super Easy Way

If you're like most couples, the cooking chores default to your better half. She may even enjoy it. Still, having to do a job makes it – well—a job. She has enough of a time getting supper together.

Who has time to make a sinful dessert?

You do. You’ll blow her away. It will make you look like a kitchen rock star. 

You'll need one on these.

The packages always say flan shell. I call them emergency cake. I usually make my own. When I do make them, I always make extra to freeze for emergencies.

Here we’ll use store-bought shells. They are pretty good. You can just open the package and go. We’ll dress them up to increase their sexiness-quotient. If you can't find these, use any light vanilla cake.

You’ll also need some whipped cream or desert topping. Since we’re going with the easiest possible way, let’s use whipped cream in a can. If you feel comfortable whipping it up yourself, by all means, go for it. About 200g of cream should do the trick. For cream, it's okay to consider grams the same as milliliters. 

You will also need a pound or two of strawberries. Why such a wide range? Because you can’t have too many strawberries, silly.

We’ll put all that stuff together to make a decadent strawberry tart.

Start with a simple syrup

Simple syrup is just equal parts of water and sugar brought to a boil. 

There’s only two things you need to know. First, the term “equal part” is by weight not by volume. Second, measure the water first, then add the sugar. Then, you heat it just to boiling. Tada! Done.

Done.

For this desert, use 100g of each. Set it aside to cool. Once cool you can add spiced rum, brandy, or cognac. That’s optional but yummy.

Next: Sinful Strawberry Sauce for Dummies

This is easier than falling off a unicycle after a few single malts. 

Rinse the strawberries and let them drip dry a little. Cut off the greens and chop them into bite-sized pieces. Throw them into a mixing bowl or a plastic container with a lid. Throw on a cup (240ml) to a cup-and-a-half (360ml) of regular sugar. You don’t need any great precision here.

Mix to coat the strawberries in sugar.

Set aside at room temperature and let science take its course. The dry sugar will suck juice from the strawberries leaving a luscious sauce/topping behind. 

In about a half hour, give it a stir and refrigerate.

Convert your canned whipped cream to crème Chantilly

Whipped cream is boring. Crème Chantilly is not. Crème Chantilly is a fancy term for whipped cream, beefed up with icing/confectioners’ sugar, then infused with vanilla.

The conversion is easy. 

Remember everything I say here is by weight. You’ll see in a second why we use metric in the kitchen. 

Whatever weight of cream you use, you will need 15% in icing sugar and 2% in vanilla extract. Those are abouts, you have some wiggle room here.

For one cake that would be about 250g cream, 38g icing sugar, and 4-6g vanilla. Good luck converting that into cups etc. It just won't happen. 

This also illustrates why it’s better to work with weights. A cup of 35% whipping cream weighs about 250g. Once whipped, it will be about 3 cups of whipped cream. It will still weigh 250g.

Spray or dump the whipped cream into a mixing bowl. Gradually, fold the sugar into the whipped cream. Next, fold the vanilla into the cream/sugar mixture. Go slow, you don't want to unwhip the stuff.

Done.

Refrigerate the Chantilly.

Assembly

Okay. So you have your flan shell or sponge cake round. You have some simple syrup with or without a shot of booze. You have your crème Chantilly. You have your strawberry sauce.

You’re ready to go.

If you have a pastry brush, paint the cake with the simple syrup. Don’t get it too wet, but don’t be shy about it either. If you don’t have a pastry brush, dip a soup spoon into the syrup and dribble the syrup on the cake shell.

Give it a minute or two to soak in.

Dump the crème Chantilly on the cake in big dollops. Using the back of a soup spoon, spread it around. You want a good coat with the edges higher than the center. Sort of like a bowl-shape.

Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. If you can't cover it, assemble it just before service.

Just before serving: Scoop the strawberries with a slotted spoon. If you don't have a slotted spoon, use your hands. They're washable. Try to avoid picking up a lot of liquid. Dump the strawberries on the crème Chantilly. It’s okay to be messy here. Just pile them on.

Serve and enjoy the look of shock.

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Most people know me as a writer. I'm also Culinary School trained in both Professional Cooking and Pastry. These posts are my attempt to lure Men into the kitchen. That sounds vaguely inappropriate. I don't intend on being in there with them. I mean -- Oh Hell, you know what I mean.