Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago · 4 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

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How to Not Follow the Herd and Still Get Respect

How to Not Follow the Herd and Still Get Respect

Those of us who dance to our own drum beat are often criticized for our beliefs and actions. Somebody will always have something negative to say about you, but on the other hand, there will also be people who like you in spite of your being different, or even because you are different. Being different isn’t a bad thing. Different people have the power to change the world and often do. Personally, I never wanted to be just like everyone else and I learned to embrace my unique qualities at a very young age. I am also very well thought of by most people, so let me take the time to show those who struggle with balancing their uniqueness with social acceptance how to get more respect from others.

“When you dare to be different, you can expect to be criticized.” – My Mom

When I was young, I made some rather unusual clothing choices that caused both strangers and relatives to make fun of me, threaten to assault me and even grope me in shopping malls and on public transit. I chose to be different, so the natural consequence is that people would react negatively to me. My mother said they would, and they did. Nevertheless, I was resolute in my choice to not be like everyone else and to not be deterred by the fallout from my decisions. The way people reacted to me was more about them than me. The majority of people left me alone, after all.

That brings me to the first point of how to gain respect from others:

Accept yourself. No one will love you if you don’t love yourself. Many of the interactions we have with people are mirrors of our self-perception. If you are not completely comfortable in your own skin, then someone will attempt to feed off your insecurity. Bullies are experts at sussing this out. Don’t give them your blood. Your being offended by others is a sign that you have not fully embraced your individuality. How you define yourself should not be dependent upon the way others define you. Only you are in charge of that.

Never demand respect. If you want others to respect you, then you must command it. We do this by being stellar communicators. Take the high road at all times and never assume that people are out to get you. Often our perception of other people’s opinions of us are coloured by our own self-perception. This goes back to my last point about accepting yourself and embracing your uniqueness. Your relationship with yourself will affect your relationship with others. If you love and respect who you are, then your behaviour toward others will reflect that, and in turn other people will show that they have great respect for you.

Respect the opinions and ideas of others. You get what you give. You cannot expect people to respect you if you don’t show respect for others. Avoid being rude, making snide remarks, hurling accusations and other forms of negative communication, even if you think the other person deserves it. The truth is, nobody deserves abuse. Strive to become known for the good you do and for having some class.

Be kind. Always be kind to others. Never assume that those who criticize you are horrible people. People sometimes do boorish things. Be kind, anyway. What you give out in the world comes back to you tenfold. Remember that.

Be helpful. Whenever the opportunity to help another person comes up, be as helpful as you can. If you have the time and the capability to help even one person in your day, then do it. Good citizens get respect.

Be honest. Without being rude, tell the truth, do the right thing by others and become known for being a good person. Honest people are trustworthy and trust is the foundation of respect.

Be loving. Show love for others whenever you can. The world needs more of that. Just ask Burt Bacharach.

Forgive others. It’s not always easy to forgive people because sometimes people do really shitty things to us, but forgive those who hurt you, no matter what. Take the high road whenever you are faced with conflict and never hold a grudge. Taking the high road is a way of allowing yourself to love and respect who you are. Like I said earlier, your self-respect will cause others to be more respectful of you.

Avoid conflict and hostile behaviour. Pick your battles. If you step back and analyse a situation before you respond, you will see that there is usually no need to be hostile or combative. Check out my post, How to Speak Your Mind and Not Piss People Off for more tips about managing conflict without being a doormat.

Be quick to apologize. If you screw up and offend someone, admit it. Don’t try to justify your actions. Just deliver a sincere apology. My beBee post Tips for Mastering the Art of Public Apology or Any Apology for That Matter gives some very helpful advice about apologies. Letting go of your ego and showing some humility will allow others to really respect who you are and all that you stand for.

Here’s to all the “different” people out there! Love yourself above all others. 


If you enjoyed this post, please share it with others!

Are you tired of wanting things to be different? Do you accept that your thoughts sometimes hold you back? Would it help you to have an accountability partner? Would you like some help setting goals and getting things done? Ask about my new flat fee accelerated coaching program. For a flat fee of just $997 you can access unlimited one-on-one coaching for a full year. My Action Focused Express Coaching program is revolutionary and guaranteed to get results!

 Renée Cormier is a certified coach and facilitator on a mission to show people how changing their thinking changes their lives. Contact Renée to learn how to quickly move forward and achieve growth in business and all other areas of life. Renée happily shares her business and personal development expertise through a variety of training and coaching programs that create unsurpassed value for her clientele.

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Renée Cormier is also a Brand Ambassador for beBee.com. Follow my beBee blogs!

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Comments
Claire L Cardwell

Claire L Cardwell

2 years ago #42

Great post Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier - accepting yourself and embracing your (and other's) differences makes life so much more interesting!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

3 years ago #41

Ness Campagnaro, you may like this!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #40

#58
Absolutely!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #39

#56
I always say, live life like you never lived before and dare to do what you would otherwise never do! I never want to spend time wishing I had the courage to do something. Dare to be different. If it doesn't harm anyone, then try it!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #38

Thank you for sharing my post

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #37

Thank you for sharing, Bill Stankiewicz, \ud83d\udc1d Brand Ambassador!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #36

Thanks for the share Timothy welch!

Bill Stankiewicz, 🐝 Brand Ambassador

Baaaaa, I agree

Jim Murray

Jim Murray

4 years ago #34

Good advice, Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier. Humanity is all about being human.

stephan metral 🐝 Innovative Brand Ambassador

hi renee, problem with bullies they can as old as our fathers can be....no one stopped them, they can even be successful people from great writers like Celine in France known for his open antisemitism....to any one using social media to win campaign based on hate...in the middle you have plenty of anonymous trolls misfit that still refuse to consult to help themselves becoming a better person. That is a sad, statistic, i recently read an article here, moquing again at people belief and habits on this platform. Usually the rule is to ignore them....well that harm users experience and worse it isnt good for the business. Would you keep goin in a restaurant where the same 2 muppets shows old trolls were bullying about the food, the furniture, the customers.....i think the restaurant owner would see slowly but surely ihis customer base shrinking. What do you do with pest control, do you let the bugs prosper? What i liked in your article in the simplee rules of thumbs we can keep in our pocket to keep thes hings positively neutral. As for myself, i never negotiate with any form of terror....Who would enter a lion cage to kick his &$:/-@$)(, behave at your own risk and don't complain that the lion rippped your head off. Surprisingly on a constant methematical basis bulliers still confuse sheeps and Lions. Too bad.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #32

#46
Yes. You are absolutely right. Abuse is abuse and verbal aggression is a form of violence. Both bullies and victims can benefit from following my guidance. Deep inside, bullies don't like who they are and they feel very weak and threatened. Self-love and acceptance are at the core of having harmonious relationships with anyone. "Love yourself above all others." Thanks for sharing and commenting, stephan metral \ud83d\udc1d Innovative Brand Ambassador.

stephan metral 🐝 Innovative Brand Ambassador

i love this article because it shows with simple points and tips how to react and manage what is called social disrespect, and very unpleasant but not dangerous form of aggression..because let's not get fooled by words...disrespect in a verbal aggresision...it is violence, nothing else.

stephan metral 🐝 Innovative Brand Ambassador

This post is great so i will campaign it on other social media such as twitter and a few others. bebeeing different is sometime being just yourself, but your eye color, your weight, your body, your social status, your lifestyle, your silent opinion , all what you are not by choice but by nature, discomfort the perception of rather ignorant and disrepectful individuals that have themselves suffer from disrespect since their childhood....or doesn' t fit the cultural standards dictated by their society....it does start at school with bullying, then on social media with harrassment till you push some teenager to the suicide....and then in the streets of anywhere in the world....the ultimate human value disrespect.....the public bombing. Human kind is not sick, some people are and they need to be contained. They only thing we can do as simple citizen, is to say very soon in individuals' lives, zero tolerance for bully-stop it. if you have supervisors in school yards to modrate the kids, there should be algorithms to monitor the teenager contents online by socialmedia providers before you ended up by decision of law with a request to grant access to your platform adminsitration to Homeland security for proselitism or radicalsim activities of any kind. Becausee when haters will understand you kind of betrayed them, how long do you think it takes the to upmost disrespect your HQ work environemnt like Charlie hebdo in Paris?

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #29

My pleasure!

Jean-Yves Piton

Jean-Yves Piton

4 years ago #28

Great advices Renée. Thank you for sharing.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #27

#39
#40 #41 Thank you all very much!

Julio Angel 🐝Lopez Lopez

Julio Angel 🐝Lopez Lopez

4 years ago #26

:-) Good, very thanks Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #25

#37
Thank you so much, and thank you for sharing.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #24

#32
#33 #34 #35 Thank you all so much.

Pascal Derrien

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #23

Always good to get a rerminder on those things every now and again :-)

Kevin Pashuk

Kevin Pashuk

4 years ago #22

Practical points Renée. Worth sharing! Dare to be different.

Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. beBee Global Brand Ambassador

well this article deserves a standing ovation thank you soul much!

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

Words of wisdom, gracefully spoken, Renee Cormier.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #19

#30
Thank you, Vincent. Enjoy your day.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #18

#23
That's a very kind comment, Joyce. Thank you. I am glad this post resonates with you and so many others.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #17

#24
Thank you, Fatima. You're the best!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #16

#19
Thank you so much, Ella, and thank you also for sharing this post. I like when I can help people in some way. The work of defining ourselves is our own. It is not up to others to tell us what we are, but rather, it is up to ourselves to determine the kind of person we wish to be and to make that our character.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #15

#18
Thank you, Todd. :)

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #14

#17
I'm glad you, "love those words". Thank you very much.

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

4 years ago #13

Great post @Renée 🐝 Cormier We don't choose to be different. It's just the way of our being. When people acknowledge the way we are we achieve harmony. We don't need them to accept us but if they acknowledge our uniqueness we will have alot of people behind us. Only when we love ourselves we can love others and when we respect other's the same comes back in ten folds Happy Sunday to you and to all the beautiful souls out there.

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

Yes--I agree. Wise words. A Bible to live by. A new Ten Commandments.

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

4 years ago #11

Great post Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier We don't choose to be different. It's just the way if our being. When people acknowledge the way we are we achieve harmony. We don't need them to accept us but if they acknowledge our uniqueness we will have alot of people behind us. Only when we love ourselves we can love others and when we respect other's the same comes back in ten folds Happy Sunday to you and to all the beautiful souls out there.

Pedro 🐝 Casanova

Pedro 🐝 Casanova

4 years ago #10

WOW Renée...loved it..and the point I love the most is the second one....that one that says...." Don´t demand respect" ....I would say... DON´T DEMAND RESPECT ...EARN IT. Unfortunately people preach and demand respect just because. And then the moment you start " scratching " you see it s all the same...a facade. People love critizice you...maybe that makes them feel a better person than you....even when they are deep inside even worse. Its like when you place a post about some topic like i.e tolerance and people start coming at you with the forks and torches and tell you to respect the " freedom of speech " and then you ask yourself...what about " My freedom of speech ". Anyway loved those writings....thanks

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #9

#15
Thank you, Tony. I'm pleased you like it. I also appreciate your sharing this post.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #8

#12
Looking forward to it, Don!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #7

#11
Yes, it takes tremendous courage to be different.

don kerr

don kerr

4 years ago #6

Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier Yup. Once again we are returned to the lessons our Mom's taught us when we were little kids. We quickly forget so much and most significantly that key lesson - if you expect someone to respect you you must first respect them. You and I can discuss the conflict avoidance point when we meet for coffee in a couple of weeks!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #5

Thanks for sharing Gulcin Newby Kennett

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #4

#5
You got it, sister!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #3

#3
Thank you, Jerry. I appreciate your comment.

Jerry Fletcher

Jerry Fletcher

4 years ago #2

Renee, too often people let the views of others control them. In my experience, to build a brand, personal or otherwise, you need to first trust yourself and then others. Your post is an elegant guidebook for those that just want to be without having to defend their viewpoint.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #1

#1
So glad you liked it!