Royce Shook

1 year ago · 1 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

chat Contact the author

thumb_up Relevant message Comment

Humour Time, if you can call it that :-)

 From a friend of mine on Facebook:

I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her,

What day is tomorrow?"

Without skipping a beat, she said,

"It's Presidents Day! “

She's smart, so I asked her "What does Presidents Day mean?"

I was waiting for something about Obama, Bush, or Clinton, etc. She replied, "Presidents Day is when the President steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow, we have another year of Bullshit."

You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose.

Things I'm Super Good At

Running. Late, that is.

Forgetting someone's name two minutes after they tell me.

Making plans...then regretting making plans.

Thinking of a great comeback — an hour later.

Digging through the trash for the food box I just threw away, because I already forgot the directions.

Adding items to online carts & then deleting.

Eating other people's French fries on the way home from the drive-thru.

Googling my ailments. Then panicking.

Forgetting about the laundry — until I'm in bed.

Calculating how much sleep I'll get if I can just "fall asleep right now".

Mumbling the name part during a rendition of "Happy Birthday"

Lowering the music on your car stereo so I can see better

Searching for my phone while holding it in my hand.

Looking for my glasses that are sitting on my head.

Seeing an outrageous price on something at a store and pretending I am still considering it.

Secretly diagnosing everybody in the waiting room at my doctor's office

Ignoring an email for weeks, then writing back and saying, "Somehow this ended up in my spam folder".

Pretending I am in a movie while listening to music on headphones and walking down the street.

Being extra chatty with airport security for good travel karma.

Offering some truly transparent fake laughter, because I have no idea what was just said, but everyone is laughing.

Bringing a book to the beach and not actually reading it.

Overthinking eye contact.

Carrying way too much from your car so I can "make it in one trip".

Finally, taking out my phone to check the time, then getting distracted by it and totally forgetting what time it is

Humour Time, if you can call it that :-)

thumb_up Relevant message Comment
Comments

Royce Shook

1 year ago #3

#1
Most of my life is funny, that is what I keep telling myself to keep me going and to keep my finely tuned sense of humour, (which no one else in my circle seems to share) sharp. :-0

Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris

1 year ago #2

So, Groundhog day is when we celebrate famous groundhogs then? :-)

John Rylance

1 year ago #1

Most of these would be funny if they weren't so true. Definitely humour reflecting real life. One's reality is funny to others, but not always to you.

More articles from Royce Shook

View blog
3 days ago · 2 min. reading time

A study of ageing

Linda Outcalt is a research assistant with the UVi ...

2 weeks ago · 1 min. reading time

World War Eleven

YOUNG PEOPLE CANNOT LEARN FROM HISTORY ANYMORE, BE ...

3 weeks ago · 2 min. reading time

More Golf humour

1. · It is almost impossible to remember how tragi ...