I live in a country called Canada. To me, it's the best country going. We have our ups and downs, but the people here are basically pretty damn good folks. We don't brag about being a great country, although I guess you could call this bragging a bit. We just carry on being Canadians. We drink a lot of beer and we own a lot of guns but we don't kill all that many people with either of those things. Our economy is pretty solid despite the fact that our dollar isn't worth a shit. A lot of us are overweight, but what do you expect with a Tim Horton's on every corner? We understand that we are a nation of people from all over the place. But more importantly we respect that. Our country is a true democracy, because while there might be ideological differences between the left and the right, we’re still civilized about how we deal with each other. We only have one NBA basketball team and one major league baseball team, but the whole damn country gets behind them. There’s a lot of hockey played and watched Canada. It borders on obsession. So I you don’t like hockey you might not like it here. There are a lot of talented people who grew up here, went to the States and became famous. But they never forget where they were from. That’s because where they’re from is a pretty damn fine place. I grew up in a border town at a time when America was great. Things are not so great down there right now. But we know that they will work through it. They always do. And we’ll always be friends. Because basically, except for the dipshits, Americans are OK with Canadians. Canada has two languages. Not many English speaking people can speak French. But nobody seems to give a shit any more. That’s the thing about Canada. We don’t give a shit. That’s not to say we’re not paying attention. We are. We just don’t give a shit. I mean, why bother? Ahh I was just pulling your leg. We do give a shit. We just don’t want anybody else’s crap interfering with things here.
Life is Canada is good. We have no reason to want to be like or part of any other country. That would just fuck things up. So tomorrow is Canada Day. I’m going to have coffee with my friend Mike Waldin, then I’m going to trim some of the vines growing on my house. Then I’m gonna watch the Blue Jays play the Cleveland Indians, along with a whole bunch of other people all across the country. That’s what we do in Canada. Did I mention that it’s the best country going? Well it is. And I’m one lucky bastard to be Canadian.
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