January Punnery

1.                 I used to be a baker because I kneaded dough.

2.                 The bicycle couldn't stand up by itself because it was two-tired.

3.                 The math teacher planted square roots in the garden, now they have a problem with imaginary numbers.

4.                 I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

5.                 Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts.

6.                 Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.

7.                 I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won't stop sending me vacation ads.

8.                 The scarecrow won an award because he was outstanding in his field.

9.                 The kleptomaniac didn't understand any puns because he took things literally.

10.            I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands and fingers.

11.            The bee's favorite subject in school was buzziness.

12.            I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.

13.            I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

14.            The magician got so mad, he pulled his hair out.

15.            The belt got arrested because it was holding up a pair of pants.

16.            I'm friends with all the electricians because we have such good current

17.            The scarecrow became a successful motivational speaker because he was outstanding in his field.

18.            I'm writing a book about reverse psychology. Do not read it.

19.            I have a joke about construction, but I'm still working on it.

20.            I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.

21.            April showers bring May flowers, but today they just brought puddles – raincheck on the blooms.

22.            The weatherman said it would be a mist-erious day, and he wasn't wrong!

23.            Why did the raincoat go to therapy? It had too many issues to deal with.

24.            I asked the rain if it had any plans for the day. It said it was just going to drizzle around.

25.            The rain decided to start a band, but it was all just watered-down music.

26.            I was going to tell a joke about an umbrella, but I figured it might be over your head.

27.            April showers make for a great excuse to stay indoors and Netflix under a cozy blanket.

28.            I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

29.            Why did the raindrops go to school? To improve its liquid skills!

30.            The rain wanted to play hide and seek, but it always got caught because it left a trail.