Lose Your Baggage!

No, this blog isn’t about travel. It’s about that emotional baggage you’ve been carrying around. We all accumulate it, but we don’t have to hold onto it. I know, some people get a certain amount of pleasure out of showing it off to everyone, like it’s got Gucci written all over it. Trust me, honey, it’s not the kind of status symbol people admire. Your baggage may make some people think you are special, but who are you holding responsible for your happiness?

Yes, I know. There are always people who are willing to swoop in and try to save you. Popular culture has filled our collective childhood with stories of handsome princes who rescue damsels in distress, and monsters and frogs who become princes after receiving just enough love. It’s easy to understand how someone could believe it is possible to save you, or how you could believe that the right person will heal you. The cold hard truth is that only you are responsible for your happiness and your healing, and it is completely unfair to expect your partner, friends or family to fix what’s broken inside you. That is your job. Your emotional baggage is your responsibility alone. The good news is that there are some surprisingly easy ways to change your thinking and free yourself from the emotional burden your past experiences have given you.

Step #1

Accept responsibility for your mental health, your physical health and your sense of well-being. Like I said earlier, you own it. You own your thoughts and you own your experiences. Nobody else does. Other people own their individual thoughts and experiences and you are not responsible for anyone’s interpretation of reality, even if you directly caused them pain. That may be a little hard to get your head around, especially if you have been playing the part of the victim your whole life. There are two types of victims. Those who live with self-inflicted guilt and those who impose guilt upon others. Either way, you are not taking responsibility for your happiness.

Part of accepting responsibility is understanding that our actions and experiences only shape us. They do not actually define who we are. You can beat yourself up endlessly for making a terrible mistake, or you can apologize and move on. Likewise, if you have been hurt by someone else, don’t milk your pain or wait for an apology to move on. Just move on. Life really opens up for you once you do that. Trust me when I tell you this. I speak from experience. I’ve had my share of shitty life experiences but because of my attitude, I am strong, capable and happy. That’s how I know.

Step #2

Tell yourself a better story. The narrative around your life story can either make you or break you. We often choose to focus on the negative because as humans, the most emotional events in our lives carry the most vivid memories. You can’t change the past, but you can change the way you think about it. To change the narrative, try asking yourself some different questions. What good came to you because of your experiences? How have you grown? Are you more sensitive to the needs of others? Are you more strong-willed because of your experience? Believe it or not, I have learned to be thankful for having experienced the things I have in my life. They have made me a richer person by giving me a depth of understanding I might otherwise never have had. I am wise and highly intuitive, likely because I have learned to tune into people and pay attention to the signals they send out. I am not fearful, however. I am very strong and very brave for having lived the life I have lived. I know in my heart that I will always be okay. These aren’t just words. These are facts and I can thank every person and event in my life for helping me develop such a tough skin.

Step #3

Avoid drama queens. Nothing can hold you back like people who need to latch onto drama. Drama queens and kings need lots of emotional excitement in their lives, and when they don’t have enough of their own, they will latch onto yours and make a big deal out of it to get you riled up. They stir that pot for their own emotional benefit, under the guise of trying to help you. They aren’t helping anyone but themselves. They will feed off of your emotion like a vampire at a neck festival. Avoid them.

Step #4

Stop talking about it. It is a myth that talking ad nauseum about your problems is healing. It isn’t. All that does is give attention to your pain. Focussing on negativity only brings more of it into your life. The past is over. Healing starts in the present as soon as you begin to tell yourself a nicer story. Look toward the great things you can build in your life and never mind what is missing, what went wrong and all the negative bullshit you endured. Move on and be a source of positivity for others. It is far better to inspire others than to tire others.

Step #5

Choose joy. Pay attention to thoughts that don’t serve you. Negative thoughts and emotions never serve you. Never! Your happiness and your joy are fully in your control, so choose joy. As you go about your day, pay attention to how you are feeling in any given moment. If you are feeling anxious, upset, sad or angry then stop what you are thinking about and place your attention on a better feeling thought. It doesn’t have to be related to the situation you are in. It just has to feel better. Think of James Taylor’s song, Carolina in My Mind. North Carolina was a place where he was happy as a child, so he wrote about how he would take his mind to that place whenever he felt troubled. It’s a great feel-good tactic. So is meditation, taking a walk in a park, watching a funny movie, looking at baby pictures and a whole host of other things. Just do what you can to change the air in your head. Meanwhile, remember that life's a trip, so have a listen and go to Carolina in your mind.

About me:

I am a former public relations professional, adult educator and published author. My life experiences have been rich and have led me to the work I am doing to bring success and fulfillment to people all over the world. 

I believe that nothing works well in life if we are not in vibrational harmony with our inner being. Self-destructive behaviours, self-sabotaging behaviours, anger, and control issues indicate that there is a disconnect between the outer self and the divine inner self. Once you heal that relationship, you will discover your career, your business, external relationships, your health, and overall wellness will improve dramatically. Please visit my website www.reneecormier.com for information about what I do and to reach me for support with your goals.