Graham🐝 Edwards

6 years ago · 2 min. reading time · ~10 ·

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Moments — are we letting people do too much for us?

Moments — are we letting people do too much for us?

If you ever get to drive a Subaru BRZ you will find it is a very tight car to drive — the steering responses quickly and so do the brakes, and the clutch is nice and smooth.

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So when it isn't, you should appreciate something is wrong.

Recently I was driving along minding my own business when suddenly the steering wasn't as tight, and the brakes were just a little off — and at that moment, in classic guy style, I kept driving with the working assumption it would self-correct. As my tolerance waned for the "self-correcting to happen" I finally pulled over (just in case there was actually something wrong). I suppose in hindsight I really wasn't surprised I had a flat rear tire because as I said, BRZ's are tight driving cars. What surprised me was what happened next.


As I was assessing my options I said to myself, "I guess I should call a tow truck" — a moment later, I physically stopped myself and started an internal discussion that went something like this.
  • Why would I call a tow truck when I don't need a tow?
  • I have a spare and all the tools to change the tire myself.
  • I can do it in a tenth of time it will take someone to get here.
  • Other than laziness, is there any reason not to do it myself?
  • I'm glad it's not really cold and it's sunny.
  • It's a pain in the ass to empty the trunk.

It had been a while since I had changed a tire so I wasn't very efficient but it was changed in twenty minutes; I then headed off to track down a new tire. It's a fun little story to be sure, but what really resonated with me is why my first reaction would be to call a tow truck (when I obviously could do it myself)?

I appreciate the premise of "why do it yourself, when you can get someone else to do it?", and I also understand that it is "impossible to know how to do everything so you will need people's help"...  as well as the argument regarding opportunity cost and "how net/net it'll be more profitable to get someone else to do it".


But now I can't help ask the question, "When does it actually become detrimental to have someone else do it for you?"

I'm not suggesting I have any answers to this question (and frankly I only thought of it because I got a flat tire), but is does create the opportunity for a fine discussion (particularly if there is wine involved) —

  • Are you getting someone else to do it because you're lazy?
  • Is it something you just can't do or learn to do?
  • Are you spending money you "can't afford to spend" to have someone do it?
  • Are you denying your own development by letting someone else do it?
  • Are you simply concerned with the consequences?
  • Et Cetera, et cetera...


For me the biggest consideration is about "waiting". Are you putting yourself on hold because of someone else? 

Waiting is not active, and if you are not active, you are not getting things done. And if you aren't getting things done, you are not going to reach your goals. The waiting place is the worst place to be, and even a worst habit to develop because in the end you will find yourself always waiting to get something done (and in the end accomplish nothing).

As I mentioned I really don't have any answers to this other than it seems I hate to wait.


iamgpe

Comments

Phil Friedman

6 years ago #15

#16
No need to, Graham\ud83d\udc1d Edwards, I will keep track of your usage via Blockchain and periodically send you bills. :-) Cheers!

Graham🐝 Edwards

6 years ago #14

#10
Thanks for the comment CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit... it's very sad and very true I think. I will also send you a quarter everytime I use the term "learned helplessness"... : )

Graham🐝 Edwards

6 years ago #13

#9
Thanks for the compliment Phil Friedman.... I definitely like the term "culture of helplessness". I will send you a quarter overtime I use it. : )

Graham🐝 Edwards

6 years ago #12

#8
Thanks for the comment Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador...

Graham🐝 Edwards

6 years ago #11

#7
Thanks for the comment Randall Burns... I was never able to inject the novocain in the right spot and kept drooling all over the place... hahaha

Graham🐝 Edwards

6 years ago #10

#3
Thanks for the comment Louise Smith... I hear you on waiting in queue and living the adrenaline rush.

Graham🐝 Edwards

6 years ago #9

#1
Thanks for the comment Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier... you are right... YouTube is the "handyman's" best friend... or as our Prime Minister would say "handy person" ....

CityVP Manjit

6 years ago #8

This glory of learned helplessness is the society our finally tuned logistic and marketing masters have made us content with this way of being.

Phil Friedman

6 years ago #7

I have long opposed what I call “the culture of helplessnes” — the idea that you have to hire “experts” to do everything for you, from fixing a leaky faucet to painting a room to bulding a website. Recently, I changed out an alternator on my Jeep Grand Cherokee. Three bolts and one multi-pin plug style electrical connector. Half-hour job. I did it just for the sheer satisfaction of not relying on a nechanic who would have charged me $500 more that the part cost. The other benefit of doing jobs youself is gaining an understanding of what is and what is not a reasonable price for doing a job. Nice piece, Graham, you are fast becoming a Prairie Philosopher. Cheers!

Randall Burns

6 years ago #6

It's not just that I don't like waiting, I like to be self sufficient and I genuinely enjoy working with my hands, problem solving, and learning new things. If need be I will consult an "expert" for situations beyond my knowledge/capabilities but as a learning exersize. Obviously there are exceptions, I don't think I would ever do my own dental work, besides I like my dentist. :-)

Randall Burns

6 years ago #5

#1
Good on you! Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier It's a great liberating feeling to be self sufficient isn't it?

Louise Smith

6 years ago #4

That's why I agree with Savvy Raj in her buzz https://www.bebee.com/producer/@savvy-raj/art-of-management-managing-self

Louise Smith

6 years ago #3

Graham\ud83d\udc1d Edwards The pace of today's life is way too fast That's why so many people are ill They run their lives like they are on Speed (and sometimes they are) People are afraid of being alone, of being thought lazy, of having nothing to do, no job, no friends and of themselves A person can't live like that for 30 years or more. The time will come when they can't get out of bed, don't care about anything anymore and are completely worn out.

Louise Smith

6 years ago #2

Graham\ud83d\udc1d Edwards I think most Australian's hate waiting and particularly hate queuing The first time I ever queued in Australia was for EXPO 1988 in my city Brisbane. I lived nearby so bought a season pass and went at the slow times when there were no queues for what I wanted to see. Or I would go and see something else without a queue and come back next time. But when I took my parents who didn't live in Brisbane, we struck a few queues. I think that was the most people they had ever seen in one place. I have also been to Japan many times. You have to queue a lot there. But usually the service is excellent and the queue moves fast. EXCEPT in Tokyo Disneyland, regardless of when you go there are queues. I was taken by Japanese friends so had to be polite and accept the situation I had to queue for 2 hours standing in a line of hundreds of people. It was hideously mind numbing I also don't like rides like roller coasters and Space Mountain so for me there was no light at the end of the queue !

Louise Smith

6 years ago #1

#1
Every single concept your wrote here Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier is absolutely true ! Well done! Be a person not a gender !

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