Royce Shook

7 years ago · 1 min. reading time · 0 ·

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On a Snowy Friday, some puns for fun

On a Snowy Friday, some puns for fun

My thanks to Doug for the following:

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

10. Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

11. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

12. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab centre said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

14. A backwards poet writes inverse.

15. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

16. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

17. Vulture boards an aeroplane, carrying two dead racoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

18. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

19. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

20. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

21. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

22. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.


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Comments

Royce Shook

7 years ago #10

#15
Hi Pamela, we could, but I think you just hit a home run

Royce Shook

7 years ago #9

#13
Hi Pamela, I would like to pitch another one, but I would not want to throw you a curve ball

Royce Shook

7 years ago #8

#2
Hi Praveen, thank you, your response shook me up and reminded me of a time at university where I spent time mixing booze and literature by reading such wonderful books as Tequila Mockingbird

Royce Shook

7 years ago #7

#4
Ken, If your loans are outstanding in this environment, you need to steel yourself and try to iron out your business problems but maybe you are a little bit rusty. :-)

Royce Shook

7 years ago #6

#5
Hi Ken, I would love to throw in some chemistry jokes, but not being a chemistry major, I'm afraid I would be out of my element.

Kevin Pashuk

7 years ago #5

I had great pleasure in oPUNing this post Royce. Thanks Ken Boddie for the tag.

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #4

Also, Royce, you could try throwing in a few chemistry jokes - but there again, with most of our bees, you may not get any reaction. 😟 Hey, Kevin Pashuk, have you seen these fun puns?

Ken Boddie

7 years ago #3

Your puns are like my recent business loan, Royce ..... they're both outstanding! 🤣

Lisa Gallagher

7 years ago #2

haha, these are great!

Gert Scholtz

7 years ago #1

Royce - some very creative and fun puns here - perfect weekend reading. I tag our beBee Bard and master of puns Ken Boddie on these this delightful post.

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