Success in life does not come from pacification or avoidance

When we achieve being loving with ourselves and others, life becomes the joy it is meant to be. Learning to love yourself starts with learning to be present in the moment, inside your body. It   also means trying to stay positive even when dealing with negative people. 

Success in life does not come from pacification or avoidance. To make consistent progress forward we have to consciously address the issues in our lives. We need a plan for how to make the most of those situations when we have to deal with negative people or negative situations. So, what are steps we can take to make the most of the negative people and circumstances around us?  Here are some ideas:

1. Look closely (93% of communications is non-verbal) and listen closely to what the person is saying. Use the time listening as an opportunity to check your own views and attitude. As Barbara Streisand said in one of the songs, "Don't Rain on my Parade", but if the person you are dealing with is being negative, look to see what you can gain from their rain.

2. What is their motivation? Some people believe that the easiest way to feel better about ourselves is by comparison to those that are in worse circumstances and some people are very good at doing this. However, focusing inward and striving for our personal best is a more rewarding way to feel better. Understanding the reason for the others negatively gives you an opportunity to empathise and to perhaps change the others view.

3. Remember that you are in charge of your situation and you should take 100% responsibility for your environment. So often we think that it is the job, the boss, or the other person, who is responsible for our situation and we look for another situation. We lose sight of the fact others have no control over us, except the control we give away. We have the control and we if we have given our control away we need to regain it. Three steps  to regain control are: 

• Learn to say no, 
• Walk away 
• Learn to embrace the lessons life is teaching.

Negative people and circumstances will always be with us and without negative people, there will be no positive people. We live in a world with challenges, failures, and heartbreak, which allows us to have a world with achievement, success, and love.