Jim Murray

8 months ago · 2 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

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The Canadian Invasion Of The US Is Postponed Indefinitely

The Canadian Invasion Of The US Is Postponed IndefinitelyMurMarketing

COPYRIGHT 2021 JIM MURRAYThere was a time, back in the early1970s, when Canadians looked upon the great land to the south and thought, yeah, we can take those pussies, all fat and happy like they are. They’d never know what hit them.

Besides they’re all distracted by all this spreading their brand of democracy all over the world, preventing those evil ass commies from getting a foothold, well anywhere, except maybe Cuba, duh. It would be pretty easy to sneak up from the Great White North and subdue them, what with their army so spread out around the world the way it is. They were ripe for invasion back then.

But then we thought about it some more and tried to figure out what was in it for us.

I mean, these are people who elected a guy who made movies with a chimpanzee named Bonzo as their president.

What would this mean to us if we did take over? We didn’t have a movie star of that calibre to replace him. That, in and of itself, was a game killer for us. So we postponed our invasion plans, choosing to wait for a better time.

Now, it’s close to fifty years later and some of us are contemplating a takeover once again. But this time, it’s not the military we’re worried about, because look how effective they were back on January 6. Nope…it’s the white trash redneck, racist neanderthals with guns that we’re worried about.

I mean, these people are fucking crazy, and have been sitting around in their camps in the back woods for years, eating k-rations fromWW2, and just itchin’ to kill something.

And then about 4 years ago, their little wet dreams came true when the American people elected yet another so called celebrity, or as they are known now, reality show stars. Still performing with monkeys though, like Gary Busey.

So we kept a close eye on this administration, and wouldn’t you know it, that fucker managed to split the country pretty much right down the middle.

So instead of invading one country, we’d have to invade two.

But we Canadians are nothing if not common sense people. And when we saw what was happening over the past 4 years, and just how much power was being handed over to a bunch of lunatics, we thought, man, this is unworkable from an invasion point of view.

So we concluded that maybe we should just wait until the country finally destroys itself and then we can just annex whatever we want for pennies on the dollar, from Elon Musk, Bill Gates and Jeff Bezos.

Of course they’d probably only want to sell us the crappy parts. like the Dakotas and Nebraska, and frankly we’ve got more than enough of that. We call them prairie provinces.

So once again, the Canadian invasion was postponed.

Now there’s a new administration in power, one that’s all peace love and groovy, but I don’t think the aforementioned white trash redneck, racist neanderthals are gonna sit still for this.

So while we have indefinitely postponed our invasion plans, we haven’t closed the door on it altogether.

Because one thing we have learned about America is that every day is a new fucking adventure, and that the glue is that holds that crazy nation together is pretty damn strong.

But we're nothing if not patient. We think nothing of waiting in a drivethrough line for half an hour at Tim Hortons. We’ll just go ice fishing, and tune our TV antennas to the border station newscasts. We’ll know when it’s time to re-activate our invasion plans.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you, eh. We're comin'. We just don't know when.


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Comments

Fay Vietmeier

8 months ago #12

#7
Jim Murray I love Canada .. if America were to be invaded .. I would rather see a Mounty than the Chinese or Russia (with their proven heinous-rule) I hope the best for Canada .. and for all nations No country that I know .. has given more to the world than America .. Correct me if I'm wrong I ponder why America is being chosen .. being pressed to CONFORM to the pattern of the world .. to conform to some GLOBAL agenda? "Manmade utopias always end in disaster" Augustine Trump is "hated without reason" by masses of people because he pushed back against that AGENDA Loving one's homeland is rightly-ordered Patriotism is a good thing .. are Canadians not "patriotic"? Do they not love their country? Does Canada welcome masses of people to illegally enter their borders .. and offer to care for them and their families who are sure to follow? You say "Trump was an aberration" (a departure from what is normal, usual, or expected, typically one that is unwelcome.) With that I AGREE .. he surely was "unwelcome" .. well "normal" seems what the "left" define in the Swamp dictionary .. they use the same dictionary to define LIES as "truth" .. all I can say is "FORSOOTH" !!! When people hate what is RIGHT .. they get what is LEFT Where TRUTH is removed by theft then INJUSTICE is bereft When a puppet becomes a President "We the people" become paupers Sadly, our friend & neighbor believes big WHOPPERS

Fay Vietmeier

8 months ago #11

#9
Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador "the path of America IS shaky" because there are so many "shaky" people on the path What is "shaky" will be be shaken - the Bible speaks of this https://www.jcblog.net/hebrews/12/25-27/so-that-what-cannot-be-shaken-may-remain Haters always hate The only reason it has .. is its own evil They hate without reason .. the Lord spoke of this too Whoever hates me hates my Father as well. If I had not done among them the works no one else did, they would not be guilty of sin. As it is, they have seen, and yet they have hated both me and my Father. But this is to fulfill what is written in their Law: ‘They hated me without reason." John 15 It is right to hate evil & wickedness. Hebrews 1 "In the past God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets at many times and in various ways, but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed heir of all things, and through whom also he made the universe. The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. After he had provided purification for sins, he sat down at the right hand of the Majesty in heaven. But about the Son he says, “Your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever; a scepter of justice will be the scepter of your kingdom. You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness; https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Hebrews+1&version=NIV

Fay Vietmeier

8 months ago #10

Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador Multiplied thanks for your poem .. which I continue .. with my poem .. the Wind took me in another direction ;~) .. I will use this in an upcoming post "hope is blowing in the wind" *Franci but it is hopelessly lost having trouble finding the way out of darkness which thrives in turmoil and makes its home in chaos the rulers dearly love shame* they forgot how to blush in their lust to conform complacent mere mortals to their maleficent mindset sameness is the name of their game questions are twisted to answers the elite do benevolently provide their duplicity will always divide if you don’t agree they will silence you Truth should transparently hide ~ me *Franci Hoffman

Jerry Fletcher

8 months ago #9

You Canucks are smarter than I thought or maybe its that old meme about niceness. And so it goes.

#7
America's path is shaky. The haters are going to hate no matter who is President.

Jim Murray

8 months ago #7

#5
Thank you, Allison

Jim Murray

8 months ago #6

#6
I have always hoped for the best for your country. It's hard not to like America because of all it stands for. I do believe that Trump was an aberration in the great experiment. Hopefully the lesson was learned and that as time goes by more Americans will understand that America needs the rest of the world as much as it needs America.

#4
Fay Vietmeier paths dark and obscure tentacles of greed corrupt the grift is shameless karma’s role awaits questions unanswered transparency kept silent confusion in tranquil minds mortals unbalanced yet the world still spins not the same as it ever was hope is blowing in the wind

Alison Duffy

8 months ago #4

Great read. I really enjoyed it.

Fay Vietmeier

8 months ago #3

Oh yeah .. Hurray !! "a new administration in power, one that’s all peace love and groovy" When a puppet becomes a President "We the people" become paupers Our friend & neighbor believes big WHOPPERS When people hate what is RIGHT .. they get what is LEFT Where TRUTH is removed by theft & INJUSTICE is bereft It was President Obama who had a unique opportunity to UNITE But sadly .. his administration only served to further UNTIE .. I'll borrow your crass & BOLDLY .. statement .. to say "that fucker managed to split the country pretty much right down the middle" The REAL divider is unseen .. The Separator who separates is Satan And many serve his spirit of hating .. and shaming & DISTAIN What glory can be found in contempt & distain? SCORN and JUDGEMENT fall down like acid rain HATRED & LIES .. have become an endless refrain CONDEMNATION and blame .. are a runaway train HARDENED-HEARTS are tainted with DARK stains Twisted by PRIDE & DECEIPT .. they cannot restrain Bent on revenge and ridicule .. despise and DEFAME Their mouths are an open grave .. “caring” they FEIGN There is suffering all around but they are oblivious to PAIN BLIND to justice & right. Their focus is only GREED & GAIN MINIONS mind your masters. They have SOLIPSISTIC brains

Fay Vietmeier

8 months ago #2

Jim Murray Oh yeah .. Hurray !! "a new administration in power, one that’s all peace love and groovy" When a puppet becomes a President "We the people" become paupers Our friend & neighbor believes big WHOPPERS When people hate what is RIGHT .. they get what is LEFT Where TRUTH is removed by theft & INJUSTICE is bereft It was President Obama who had a unique opportunity to UNITE But sadly .. his administration only served to further UNTIE .. I'll borrow your crass & BOLDLY .. statement .. to say "that fucker managed to split the country pretty much right down the middle" The REAL divider is unseen .. The Separator who separates is Satan And many serve his spirit of hating .. and shaming & DISTAIN What glory can be found in contempt & distain? SCORN and JUDGEMENT fall down like acid rain HATRED & LIES .. have become an endless refrain CONDEMNATION and blame .. are a runaway train HARDENED-HEARTS are tainted with DARK stains Twisted by PRIDE & DECEIPT .. they cannot restrain Bent on revenge and ridicule .. despise and DEFAME Their mouths are an open grave .. “caring” they FEIGN There is suffering all around but they are oblivious to PAIN BLIND to justice & right. Their focus is only GREED & GAIN MINIONS mind your masters. They have SOLIPSISTIC brains

Zacharias 🐝 Voulgaris

8 months ago #1

Right, with the magnificent leadership of that toyboy, Canada is going to invade another country :-) Thank you for the entertaining break!

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