Jim Murray

7 years ago · 3 min. reading time · ~10 ·

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The Curse Of The Great, Huge, Delicious, Evil & Nasty...Doughnut

The Curse Of The Great, Huge, Delicious, Evil & Nasty...Doughnut

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Jim Murray, Strategist, Writer
& beBee Brand Ambassador

I work with small to mid-sized businesses,
designers, art/creative directors & consultants
fo create results driven, strategically focused
communication in all on & offline media

       
       
       
      

 

| am also a communications mentor, lyricist

& prolific op/ed blogger. Your Story Well Told

      

Email: onanc

 

mail com | Skype: jimbobmuré1We are driving around our new home town of St Catharines a lot these days.
We are looking for furniture and shelving and even major appliances. It’s all quite an adventure because every time we decide to go somewhere we take a different route because that’s kinda how you go about figuring out a city.
We are trying to ride up and down as many streets as we can, to see where they go and what they are all about.
But there is one street we have decided we need to avoid. It is called James Street. It’s not a very long street. Only about 6 blocks or so. And when you’re driving around in the downtown core, you could cross it several times.
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But evil lurks on James Street. An evil so insidious that if you are exposed to it over even a short period of time, it will cause you incredible pain and anguish, not to mention guilt.
Because James Street is the home of Beechwood Doughnuts.
Beechwood is a vegan donut shop that is run by evil witches who want nothing more than to see us all balloon up to be worthy candidates for the Discovery Channel program “My 600 Pound Life”.
These witches labour over cauldrons of vegan stuff and create donuts that are the essence of pure evil. I am sure there is some eye of newt in there somewhere.
They sell these donuts for $14 for a half dozen, but they are a steal at twice the price.
There are maybe 20 different types of donuts and or fritters available at any given time. All different, all amazing, all irresistible and all evil in the extreme.
Thanks Star & Ben

19fae75f.jpgOn their first visit after Christmas, my daughter, Star and her husband Ben, discovered Beechwood while cruising around downtown to see what kind of city we had moved to.
On our first visit to the bakery itself, we simply stood there in awe and watched the purple-haired witch behind the counter gleefully dispense these meal-sized giants to a short line of customers.
We decided to buy half a dozen, 2 chocolate-glazed chocolate filled fritters, 2 mint chocolate filled, and 2 apple fritters.
We put them on the back seat and headed west to a big Home Hardware store on 4th Avenue. All the way there the evil doughnuts beckoned, like tiny sirens in a paper box. “Eat us, Jim and Heather…eat us all then go buy some more on your way home”.
The smell of the doughnuts wafting from the back seat was as powerful as any aphrodisiac you could imagine.
You Will Always Remember Your First Time

We pulled into the parking lot, shut off the car and sat there for quite a while. Finally, we decided to have one. The rain beat down on the roof of the car as I brought the box into the front seat. We both decided on the chocolate-glazed chocolate filled fritters.
One bite was all it took. This was (and my wife agreed), quite simply the most delicious thing we had ever tasted. Now I know that sounds like hyperbole, but I stand by it 100%.
We sat in the car and slowly consumed our fritters. We savoured them because, deep in our hearts we knew that we were sinning big time and that when these doughnuts were gone, sometime the next day, our new mission was to avoid going back to James Street at all costs.
Afterward, we debated a bit about it and decided that was a bit severe, so we agreed that we would only visit the witches of Beechwood once a month.
On the 30th of this month, our month is up.
Today, we went to Sears to buy a new dishwasher, microwave and washer, and dryer, and as we drove through the downtown core, the subject of doughnuts inevitably came up as it always does.
But you will be pleased to know that we were strong and resisted the siren wail of the Beechwood witches.
But the memory of our first doughnut there in the parking lot of that Home Hardware is something we will never forget. It will become part of the stories we tell our friends who come to visit, which is also, we have decided, a great excuse to scoot down to James street and get a fix from the doughnut-dealing witches of Beechwood.  (http://www.beechwooddoughnuts.com/)

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Comments

Jim Murray

7 years ago #18

#24
Thanks Donna-Luisa Eversley. It is one of the biggest temptations that exists here. But they are like no donuts I have ever tasted.

Wayne Yoshida

7 years ago #17

#10
OK. That's some pretty strong endorsements about your Beachwood Donuts - Maybe I'll visit when the winter is over.

John Rylance

7 years ago #16

Jim, I can imagine the witch Hubble behind the counter cackling, cracking her bony fingers and saying "When shall we three meet again", while sister Bubble toils without trouble in the back. As you two agree with Oscar Wilde when he said "I can resist everything but temptation"

Jim Murray

7 years ago #15

#16
I've never seen anything like that other than sausage rolls over here, Claire \ud83d\udc1d Cardwell. But it sounds like something I would try for sure.

Jim Murray

7 years ago #14

#15
@ Todd Jones: I think that they are cooked in pure vegetable oil as opposed to beef tallow. Evidiently sugar is a vegan thing as well as chocolate, which there is a lot of in these hulks.They are literaly twice as big as any regular donut.

Jim Murray

7 years ago #13

#12
Thanks Don...I'll scope it out. I haven't confirmed with Randy yet.

don kerr

7 years ago #12

#6
Better alternative for you - Tamp Coffee on on PIne Street. Even closer to Lakeshore http://tampcoffee.com/

Jim Murray

7 years ago #11

#7
Sorry Ian Weinberg.

Jim Murray

7 years ago #10

#8
They grow their own newts, Wayne. And one of these donuts will make Krispy Kreme look like ugly balls of fried dough

Neil Smith

7 years ago #9

Apple fritters were a revelation to my younger self when I first hit North America. I remember wandering around Toronto airport looking for a dealer as I waited for a flight back to Scotland. A fresh fritter feels quite moreish.

Wayne Yoshida

7 years ago #8

Thanks Jim Murray. Now I have to go get Krispy Kreme doughnuts (not far from my house). BTW, isn't eye of newt animal, not vegetable?

Ian Weinberg

7 years ago #7

That was below the belt Jim Murray! Doughnuts are my weakness and now you got me smitten. Barely able to type this as I drool and slip across the keys ... Good on you. Have one for me please.

Jim Murray

7 years ago #6

#5
Sage advice. I am having coffee with Randy Diplock on Thursday in Burlington. I suggested Coffee Culture on Brant just above the Lakeshore, since I have to go pick up a chair at La-z-Boy.

don kerr

7 years ago #5

Jim Murray Buried within this plaintive cry for help lies a blatant appear to Beechwood to offer up a free sample of their crack - er, doughnuts - to the newest addict in town. I encourage you to find a safe ingestion zone Jim where you can indulge your dangerous habit in safety. And because I care for your well-being, avoid Brant Street in Burlington where Kelly's Bake Shop lurks with its massive array of vegan cupcakes, cookies and Nanaimo bars! https://www.kellysxo.com/

Jim Murray

7 years ago #4

#3
The fritters have no holes upon which to dwell. I only hope they serve fritters in hell

Phil Friedman

7 years ago #3

Jim, as you travel on through life, gaze e're upon the doughnut and n'er upon the hole. Cheers and happy anniversary.

Bill Stankiewicz

7 years ago #2

But normally I am eating a plain bagel for breakfast 😎🌴🎉🎂

Bill Stankiewicz

7 years ago #1

I love ❤️ the 🍎 apple fritters donuts here in Savannah

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