The hardest words

We faced a lot of hard moments in our life. As we raised our family, dealt with life’s issues, and tried to be upstanding citizens from youth to retirement, we have many memories of which we are proud. But anyone who has successfully come to their senior years also has a few relationships and moments that they are not proud of as well.

One of the hardest things to admit is that we ever were wrong. But the chances are that by this stage in our life, we can look back and think of times when we did mistreat people, where we were in the wrong and were not honest or ethical or moral in some aspect of life. I know when I look back; I have had those moments. But in the middle of a struggle, when we behave shamefully, it’s easy to just get past it, bury it in our mind and let the passage of time wipe away that memory. It is easy to do, but not something we should not do.

But our senior years are about more than just trips, meeting with friends and sleeping until noon. It is also about reviewing the life you lived and celebrating the joys and successes you have had. But to be honest with yourself, you cannot rejoice in the good without remembering those times when you were the one doing wrong and the people you hurt and the damage that was caused by your mistakes.

Facing life after retirement is about putting your affairs in order so you can live out the balance of your days with a peaceful mind and a happy heart. Most times, all that you have to do to resolve a mistake you made or to fix a broken relationship is to be prepared to say the two hardest words there are in the English language. And those words are–I’m sorry.  

It would be a shame that would border on a Shakespearian tragedy if you looked back at your life and identified those broken relationships that were caused by your pride, your impetuous activity, or your greed. Some of those relationships may be very important to you and to leave them broken as you move into your retirement years is more than just a shame. It’s unimaginable. So how do you go about saying you’re sorry and saying “I’m sorry” to someone with whom the relationship ended a long time ago? Friends come and go, but family is with you forever, and most families have fought and many ends up lasting a lifetime. In my family, my grandmother and her sisters did not speak for over 50 years, and they died without resolving whatever conflict happened. Family fights and broken family relationships hurt not only the family members involved, but they also hurt many more, including cousins, other siblings, nieces, nephews, grandchildren, etc.

Perhaps the easiest way to accomplish this very hard part of setting your affairs in order is to work through someone who can help make it happen. Perhaps another family member can be of help. Another sibling may mend this family rift and be happy to see that relationship restored. If you can call that sister who still loves you and still loves your brother, she may help soften the hurt feelings and be the mediator between two hurt brothers who are desperate to be reconciled.

You can bet that it would thrill your sister to be the one to bring you two together. This is just one example of a way to reach out and say the hardest words ever to fix a mistake you made in life. It’s a way to reach out to that person you hurt and just say, “I’m sorry”, which is what I had wished my grandmother and her sisters could have done.