The Top Ten Things I Hate About Winter

Now you would think that having spent my entire life going through Southern Ontario winters that I would have built up some sort of tolerance for them.

But that would be a false assumption. I hate everything about winter. The whole nine yards.

1. I hate the sound of the wind whistling through the leaf-challenged trees. There really is nothing more desolate sounding than that.

2. I hate the snow that I have to push around, and the process of doing all that, either by hand or with the aid of my trusty little snow blower.

3. I hate the big, impersonal ridge of snow and slush that is sitting at the end of my driveway now that the sadistic snowplow drivers have had their fun.

5. And I hate the cheery idiots on TV who are telling you that more snow is on the way or could be. They really revel in this shit.

6. I hate bundling up to face the weather. Wearing layers and heavy boots and stuff on my head, just so I can go shopping really just sucks.

7. I hate driving in the winter, because everybody turns into some sort of moron when the roads are covered with snow.

8. I hate the claustrophobic feeling of being trapped in your house when a winter storm is going on.

10. I hate the false hope of the days like we are going to have this week, when the temperature will climb well above zero and melt all the snow. This is when everybody starts thinking that spring is just around the corner…when they know perfectly well that they are simply deceiving themselves, because deep down inside almost everybody hates winter as much as I do.

So there you go. I was going to try and minimize how bitter and twisted Iam about this. But that didn’t work out.

The only good thing I can say about this winter is that we have not had it anywhere near as bad as the people all up the east coast of the US and Canada.

It has really sucked for them so far.

jim out