There is no "i" in team but there are 3 in "narcissistic"

A tough old Cowboy from Texas counselled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the Secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder on her oatmeal every morning. So she did this religiously to the age of 103! When she died, she left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium USED TO BE.

There may be no "i" in "team," but there are three in "narcissistic.

I can do a fairly good impression of someone who cares about your problem.

Men get frustrated because they don’t understand how women think. Women get frustrated because they understand how men think.

1984 - it's just 33 years late arriving :-)

Couples who have been married a long time start finishing each other's sentences. The most popular ending being "Shut the #%&# up!

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding the other person is a complete idiot.

You say you want to bring me back to reality. You're assuming I've been there before.

The kids text me "plz" Because it's shorter than "please". I text back "no" because it's shorter than "yes".

and finally

Good Night Everyone - Pleasant Dreams
'Cause if you can dream
Reflections in a diamond sky
Come shining all through
Romance will always be so new
And love will save the day
If you can dream