Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago · 4 min. reading time · visibility ~10 ·

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Thinking and the Mind That Interferes

Thinking and the Mind That Interferes~

A Better You Stafts Here

Success coaching for busings and life! ™

www.reneecormier.com

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People get super crazy ideas in their heads. Like the character on the road that mistakes your left turn for some sort of personal slight and then attempts to cut you off for spite. Then there’s the relative who neglected to speak to you at your niece’s wedding and you are now convinced is angry with you for some mysterious reason that even you don’t know. What about the neighbour who gloriously decorates her back yard with old tires and empty flower pots? There you are convinced that she’s trying to piss you off and force you to sell your house. Or the co-worker who said something offensive in a meeting and has you convinced that you are being undermined at work. Oh, the fears and the paranoia we come up with when we try to figure out what people really think, yet somehow many of us believe we actually have insight into a person’s thoughts. Believe me when I tell you that we really don’t. Not at all! We only think we do and therein lies the problem.

The human brain is a fascinating yet often inept organ that loves to do its work.

Our brain thrives on stimulation. If we stop moving, the brain slows and even ceases operation in those areas. If we move differently, the brain builds new neuropathways to accommodate our new needs. Just ask Gary Sharpe how his brain has changed since his diagnosis of Parkinson ’s disease. If you stop speaking a language you know, you will forget it. Once you find yourself in the environment that necessitates your using it again, your brain reawakens and reactivates the parts required to process that language. It is a truly amazing organ that way.

The human brain also likes to entertain itself by activating our imagination. We use it to think creatively, design things, write books, and create music. Thanks to the brain, we can reflect on our behaviour, create moral codes, follow rules, and make assumptions about the world around us. Sometimes the last part gets us into trouble. People often assume things, and even though we are told we shouldn’t, it is somehow what we do. We are wired to wonder and because we wonder we can create amazing things and discover new things, but in spite of it all, we can still never definitively know what goes on inside someone’s head!

For those who are inclined to make assumptions about the motivations and actions of others, know this.

Our perceptions about why people do what they do, i.e., our version of reality, is wholly influenced by our relationship with ourselves.

How you feel about yourself directly affects your interaction with the world around you. At the centre of it all is your degree of self-respect. If you cannot love and respect who you are, you will not be able to have a healthy relationship with anyone at all! So how do you know if your internal relationship is off kilter? Any one of these is an indication that you’ve got some work to do:

· You worry about what other people think of you

· You constantly try to please people

· You anger easily

· You are always surrounded by drama

· You create a lot of drama in your life

· You think people have ulterior motives or are plotting against you

· You drink excessively

· You use drugs to ease your emotional pain

· You let people walk all over you

· You worry about being taken advantage of

· You feel like you are hiding the real you behind a mask

· You put yourself down

· You feel inept

· You are plagued with feelings of guilt or shame

· You manipulate others

· You put other people down

· You accuse other people of doing things to harm you

· You are easily offended

I am sure I could list more, but if you really want to measure the health of your internal relationship, all you really need to do is ask yourself how you feel about who you are. Do you love your own soul? If you could hold it in your hands would you kiss it like a new born baby? Do you realize that the mistakes you made in life do not define you? Your soul is who you really are and it is perfect just like a new born baby is pure and perfect. 

Who we are on the day we are born is who we really are. What’s not to love? 

It is the things that happen to us after we are born that take us farther and farther away from who we really are. We forget that we are actually a form of perfection and we listen to the lies people tell us about ourselves, but those lies were told to us by people who also lost their connection with their inner being (soul). Forgive your parents, friends, relatives and whoever else lied to you and hurt you. Forgive all those who tried to define you. They didn’t really know.

Don't let your mind interfere with your happiness. It is not really important for us to know or to understand what other people think. We mistakenly believe we need to know this, but we really don’t. What is important is that you genuinely think well of yourself. Speak your real truth. The truth that you are pure and good at your core. Love that part of yourself and forgive yourself for making mistakes and being unkind to yourself. If you can master that, you will find that your relationships with all people improve. You will no longer have to fight with people, or be offended by others. You will no longer care about who likes you or why people do things or what they are thinking. You will not have to embarrass yourself by wrongfully accusing people of things they didn’t do. None of it will matter to you at all. We are all wounded in some way. Get over it because your thoughts are the only thoughts that really affect you.

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About me:

I am a former public relations professional, adult educator and published author. My life experiences have been rich and have led me to the work I am doing to bring success and fulfillment to people all over the world. 

I believe that nothing works well in life if we are not in vibrational harmony with our inner being. Self-destructive behaviours, self-sabotaging behaviours, anger, and control issues indicate that there is a disconnect between the outer self and the divine inner self. Once you heal that relationship, you will discover your career, your business, external relationships, your health, and overall wellness will improve dramatically. Please visit my website at www.reneecorimer.com for information about what I do and to reach me for support with your goals.


Check out my other beBee blogs!

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Comments
Sarah Elkins

Sarah Elkins

4 years ago #27

#6
Of course you're invited, Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #26

#31
Thank you, Nicole Chardenet. I think we are all a work in progress. Being aware of our shortcomings and having the willingness to address them and realign ourselves is really what it is all about. Not everyone is willing to do that, however.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #25

#29
Thank you, Simone Luise Hardt, and thank you for sharing this post as well!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #24

#24
I couldn't agree more, Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #23

#25
I agree completely, . You cannot give something you do not have. Many people believe they have a lot of love to give, but I think the truth is that they believe they have a lot of love, and they want to have a lot of love available to give, but thre is a problem. Because they lack a sufficient amount of self love and self respect, or perhaps more accurately, because their supply has been tainted, they can only love conditionally. They expect others to somehow fill them up and give them value, not realizing their world is like a mirror reflecting only what is in front of it.

Paul Walters

Paul Walters

4 years ago #22

Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier Great piece , thank you

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

4 years ago #21

Your soul is who you really are and it is perfect just like a new born baby is pure and perfect. This is a good reminder Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier enjoyed reading this tremendously. Don't let your mind interfere with your happiness. It's unavoidable sometimes don't you agree? And this is the key to sustaining peace in our hearts as well. When we stop blaming and start living with the purpose of enjoying the given moment we find that satisfaction words can't explain. I always say that "Only when we love ourself can we love others. A truth everyone needs to reinforce and embrace. In my buzz Don't micro Manage Yourself I say the same thing "Only when we love ourself can we love others. Only when we learn, we can teach and only when we give we can receive. These I've learnt are the basic principles of the universe." To be your authentic self no matter how many people think low of you or misjudge you or think your not good enough. IMO It's about what you want in life, how does it contribute value in your life and those around you.

Lisa Gallagher

Lisa Gallagher

4 years ago #20

What an uplifting buzz Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier! I think many of us define ourselves (even unconsciously) due to definitions others gave us through out our lives. The key is understanding, as you explained, their definitions are not who we are. You wrote, "Forgive your parents, friends, relatives and whoever else lied to you and hurt you. Forgive all those who tried to define you. They didn’t really know." Couldn't agree more, they really couldn't know. I have learned to forgive and understand those who I felt may have defined me- in reality, my mind didn't know the difference. We are all products of our environments but it doesn't mean we have to continue the pattern or belief systems. Forgiving, letting go and finding the true essence of our soul is vital to our growth as humans.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #19

#20
Yes. Feel it! I knew you would get it, @Devish Bhatt.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #18

#19
Loving souls don't conflict. It is the gap between your inner being and your physical self that causes conflict of all types. When you are perfectly aligned your inner being, you will not feel anger or frustration. You let go of Ego. You will have nothing to prove. You will not be in competition with anyone. You will be perfectly able to accept all people for who they are regardless of their relationship with their own inner being.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #17

#18
Haha! The best drugs are already inside you. You just have to tap into them!

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

4 years ago #16

Love, hate and all emotional responses within oneself are natural. What is unnatural is the persistence with self love or self loathing, for which all sorts of external aides and re inforcements come into play. Do i think and define the inner being or do i feel it?

Harvey Lloyd

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #15

Can i love my own soul? What a brilliant question. I would have to say that the answer would be yes. Within a vaccum of no others i am perfect, it is only when i am around others that my brain wants to share this perfection and comparison begins. Our brain may want a reflection from others that the perfection of our soul is true. Constantly our brain is viewing the environment and rendering a internal reflection of this perfection, or not. I would think that within our internal perfection or love our own soul, we would need to give our brain criteria of reflection. In leadership forcing yourself to consider five points of "why" that person didnt speak, the neighbor or the coworkers outburst allows us to consider alternative actions. Our auto mouth mechanisms always present the i love my own soul option only. This point is one of the most difficult to explain to budding leaders. The auto response is merely one response. Take a few seconds and consider at least three others. If they dont fit then go with auto. Maybe a larger question would be what happens when two souls meet and each one loving itself causes conflict? Great post as always.

Jim Murray

Jim Murray

4 years ago #14

Nice piece, Renee. I went down that list. How many do you have to be able to check off before you get the good drugs=?

Franci 🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador

"Who we are on the day we are born is who we really are. What’s not to love?" I love this statement Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier. This makes so much sense. Notes to Self 101! :)

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #12

Yes, people get really hung up on things they have done and carry huge amounts of guilt and shame. In my view, there are no mistakes, only experiences. Sometimes reflection allows us to learn from the experience. Sometimes we need to repeat our experiences in order to learn and sometimes we repeat them believing that is our destiny or how we are programmed. That is false thinking. Life is about choices and we choose constantly. You can go left as easily as right, if you have the courage and the inner knowledge that you will always be okay. Thanks for the comment Jerry Fletcher.

Jerry Fletcher

Jerry Fletcher

4 years ago #11

Renee, Buried in your text is this phrase: "the mistakes you made in life do not define you" Too often because of the way our minds work this is the thing which stands in the way of success. My Dad used to say, "There are no really bad mistakes...if you learn from them." Thank you for a superb reminder to keep learning.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #10

Thanks for the share, Michele Williams!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #9

#12
That's right, sister!

Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee

"What is important is that you genuinely think well of yourself. Speak your real truth. The truth that you are pure and good at your core. Love that part of yourself and forgive yourself for making mistakes and being unkind to yourself. If you can master that, you will find that your relationships with all people improve. " The hardest thing going. But flexing those mental muscles can make this come true.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #7

Thank you for sharing this post Simone Luise Hardt!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #6

#8
Thank you, Simone. Enjoy your day as well!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #5

#7
Thank you so much, Praveen Raj Gullepalli, and thanks for the share!

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #4

#5
Can I come, too?

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #3

#3
The key to finding happiness is to simply create it by choosing good feeling thoughts over bad feeling thoughts. When you find yourself analyzing a situation check your mind's barometer to see how you are feeling. Are you shaky inside, tensing up, frowning? Being aware of your feelings from moment to moment allows you to choose a better feeling, more relaxing thought. Care more about feeling happy than feeling anything else and your life will begin to change dramatically. You will soon find yourself unwilling to invest in emotional misery, miserable circumstances and miserable people.

Sarah Elkins

Sarah Elkins

4 years ago #2

You're so right, Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier and I need an evening of wine and chocolate to discuss.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

Renée 🐝 Cormier

4 years ago #1

#1
Yes, a lot of people fail to realize that at our core we are as beautiful and sweet as we were created. It is our accumulation of baggage and the false beliefs we hold about ourselves that prevent us from maintaining a strong connection with our inner being. Our inner being is our power source, so when we are disconnected or only loosely connected we feel weak and behave accordingly. More food for thought, my dear sister from another mister!

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