Time Wounds All Heels
This is a post I wrote several years ago when I worked as an employee engagement specialist and corporate trainer. It's not a subject I write about anymore, but as I begin to work more with businesses in transition, I find the need to address issues that affect employee engagement. Companies often choose to do things the hard way because it appears to be immediately easier. This post is meant to teach people how to be better leaders but it also serves as a reminder that not committing to creating an engaged workforce causes bigger problems down the road. That's typically when the consultants get called in.
So you’re a so a manager and you’ve dumped on your people and treated them as underlings and idiots for quite some time. Now you find you’ve got employees who give you lip, call in sick, refuse to do you favours and resist your direction. You know they talk about you behind your back. They’ve complained about you to your supervisor/manager and everything is falling apart on you. Clearly, no one has any respect for you and some don’t even care about the consequences of acting out their anger and frustration. You’ve received your wake-up call but don’t know how to fix the mess you’ve created.
As a bully manager, you are a liability to your company. Your behaviour can result in law suits being filed by employees and former employees. You cause turnover and you also cause people to take stress leave. Your behaviour seriously hampers productivity and causes customers to desert you.
Furthermore, I’ve never met a bully manager who wasn’t all stressed out by their conflicts at work. It takes a lot of energy to be a creep. If you have a history of being a mean-spirited, condescending jerk, then you need to understand that you are bound to have your comeuppance. As Groucho Marx once cleverly said, “Time wounds all heels.”
The process of building trust as a manager is one that takes patience and commitment, so if you’re looking for a quick fix, you can forget it. Naturally, it will be especially difficult if you’ve got a reputation for being a jerk (that’s the polite term). Take heart, though. I said it will be difficult, but it is definitely possible to create a positive environment even when your leadership has been less than exemplary. Here are some tips to get you started:
No Double Standards: If you want your employees to respect you, you need to follow the exact same rules you expect them to follow; and do it 100 per cent of the time.
Respect: You have to give respect in order to get it, so make sure all of your interactions with your team members are non-threatening. Never speak to others in a condescending tone. Ask politely and don’t give orders.
Show Genuine Interest: People naturally like people who take an interest in them. Ask your employees if they had a pleasant weekend; ask about their family, pets and hobbies. Ask about anything that isn’t too personal and take an interest in what they tell you.
Share Information: Share a little personal information and share information related to the business. Openness is an important part of building trust. When you share, others will reciprocate.
Be Helpful: Don’t set up road blocks for your employees. Give them every opportunity to be successful. Encourage them to be the best they can be by offering your assistance and friendly advice. Offer courses, books or whatever else you need to offer to build their confidence and skills.
Be Flexible: Even though rules are important, it is also important to be flexible enough to bend them once in a while for people. If you treat people the way you would want to be treated under the same circumstances, then you will know when flexibility is necessary.
Have Fun: Don’t take things so seriously all the time. It’s ok to let loose and relax with people. Tell a clean joke or a funny story. As long as your remarks are not negative or potentially hurtful to someone, it should be safe to have a laugh.
Don’t Be a Hot Head: If someone annoys you, don’t blast them right away. Cool down and find the appropriate moment to address the behaviour in a civilized fashion. You may find that after you’ve cooled down, that it really wasn’t that big a deal.
Pick Your Battles: Understand that you don’t always have to be right, and even if you are right, it’s ok if you are the only one who knows it. Some arguments just aren’t worth pursuing. If the matter is not really earth shattering, then don’t waste your energy on it.
Don’t Be Vindictive: Never try to get even with people. No one can respect or trust anyone who cannot take the high road. We win when we choose grace over drama.
Don’t Be a Control Freak: Give people credit for having intelligent ideas and capabilities. If things always have to be done your way, then you are doing a great disservice to the business. No one is perfect and acting like you are better than everyone else will only serve to alienate you from the people you need the most: your team.
Don’t Engage in Constructive Dismissal Practices: Constructive dismissal is a sleazy practice that doesn’t escape the notice of the victim’s co-workers. It seriously hampers productivity and fosters an environment of extreme mistrust and lack of respect. If you need to fire someone, then do it as nicely as possible. Civil behaviour is always best.
These tips just scratch the surface. I’m looking forward to the day when companies adopt and actually enforce a zero tolerance policy around bullying and workplace harassment. To date, I have seen a lot of companies who simply pay lip service. It makes me question how people interpret the word, “harassment” and I wonder why some types of harassment are condoned while others are not. Harassment is bad for business, no matter who is doing it or how they are doing it.
Few public relations & communications specialists have as diverse a background as Renée Cormier. Add published author, employee engagement specialist, sales and marketing strategist, entrepreneur and educator to her list of accomplishments. In her career Renée has held leadership roles in sales and marketing, developed and implemented national marketing strategies and was responsible for teams as large as 28 strong. She brings a wide range of experience and talent to her work.
Renée really shines in marketing communications. She is known for developing and implementing comprehensive communications strategies and generating results through flawless implementation. With such strong business acumen, passion for her work and a natural talent for business strategy, Renée is definitely considered an important resource for her clients. Is your business in transition? Are you looking to achieve exponential growth? Do you need help with your communications or public relations efforts? Contact Renée through her website.
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Renée 🐝 Cormier
6 years ago #10
Thank you! Today's post is about dealing with toxic people during transition. Here's the link: https://www.bebee.com/producer/@renee-cormier/disarming-the-dangerous
6 years ago #9
Renée 🐝 Cormier
6 years ago #8
Thanks, gpe. And thank you for sharing this post!
6 years ago #7
Renée 🐝 Cormier
6 years ago #6
#7 #8 Thanks for your comments, gentlemen. Changing behaviour is never easy. It takes a deliberate and sincere effort to step outside of yourself and start doing the right thing. Bullies themselves live in fear. They are very insecure people and so they feel they must assert themselves aggressively to compensate for their weakness. Much of the way we behave is a reflection of the story we tell ourselves. If the story you believe about yourself is causing you pain, then you need to tell yourself a different story and do things that support you new "truth". It is really that simple. Your personal, hidden story (i.e., the talk in your head) is the foundation that supports all of your actions whether they are good, bad or ugly.
Mohammed Abdul Jawad
6 years ago #5
6 years ago #4
My pleasure Ren\u00e9e Cormier.
Renée 🐝 Cormier
6 years ago #3
Renée 🐝 Cormier
6 years ago #2
You got it, David! Also, thanks for sharing this post.
David B. Grinberg
6 years ago #1