Robert Cormack

4 years ago · 4 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

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Why We're Follow Junkies.

Everyone's guilty of herding and following trends. It's so much easier than actually thinking and speaking for ourselves.

Clonmel of Port Dove” presents.

Ist in a series of writer workshop retreats


"You Can Lead a Horse to Water
{But You Can't Make It Scuba



Contact Lynneee Steffler for details.
clonmelcastie@gmaillcom or 1-513-583-0519


“I don’t follow trends, they follow me.” Mae West

We all know there are entire galaxies beyond our own, possibly with complete civilizations. Intelligent life forms could be eyeing us right now, calculating our birth rates, mortality rates and why we eat spinach.

Eventually some martian sociologist will boil it down, telling interesting onlookers that we stare at luminescent screens and walk into manholes for one odd but compelling reason: We’re follow junkies.

In the animal kingdom, herding is the result of pheromones, something perfume makers have tried unsuccessfully to isolate for years. Pheromones are tricky, whereas following is pretty simple.

Kylie Jenner can’t understand where her “power to set trends” comes from, other than it probably started with her sister, Kim, lying naked in a video, saying, “This better not get out,” knowing full well it would.

We can laugh at the “shortness” of trends, but not at the thoughtlessness necessary to make them popular.

You don’t even  have to set trends to appreciate them. In fact, most of us would rather follow them than risk starting new ones. Risk is a big part of trend-setting. One wrong move and you’re not a Kardashian anymore. The trick is not thinking, which is a big part of the Kardashian family fortune.

There are marketing groups set up specifically to follow trends. A commercial did a spoof on this, where a woman is hired to tell a man when his “man bun” is passé.

We can laugh at the “shortness” of trends, but not at the thoughtlessness necessary to make them popular. We could say it represents the laziness of human nature. Give us a screen and opposable thumbs and we’ll follow like ants to a dead armadillo.

From a marketing perspective, it’s good that we don’t think. When you ask your daughter why she’s wearing her dress so short, you expect her to say, “It’s what all the girls are wearing.” That’s certainly better than her showing up in a cowl, complaining about a woman’s place in the hierarchal church.

Why did Frank Capra, director of “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “Meet John Doe” tell young filmmakers, “Never follow trends, set them.”

“We’re not here to make waves,” someone once said, “but to surf what’s there,” an interesting analogy and certainly not without merit. Judging from the success of some people, it obviously works.

“I don’t set trends,” Dick Clark once admitted. “I just find out what they are and exploit them.”

American Bandstand ran for 37 years, with Dick hosting from 1956 to its final season. Even advanced life forms on other planets would find that laudable.

So why, if it’s so easy, do some people feel the need to set new trends? Why did Frank Capra, director of “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “Meet John Doe” tell young filmmakers, “Never follow trends, set them.”

And why would Mark Cuban, owner of the Dallas Mavericks, Landmark Theatres and Magnolia Pictures “look somewhere else,” when he sees the red flags of predictability? Surely, as a regular on Shark Tank, possibly a direct competitor with The Kardashians, he’s seen his share of rehashed ideas.

Yet at least he knows—like Dick Clark—it’s no way to be a billionaire. You have to “break the mold” at some point, and he’s rather good at it.

The truth is, most of us don’t really process. We figure we’re on safe ground following whatever we’re told is the cat’s meow.

Mark sees a different role for trends these days, what he calls “re-application.” As he told Entrepreneur, “Successful people don’t ask what consumers want. They envision a complete re-application. Then they decide what to do with what they just recreated.”

It’s an interesting premise. Mark’s obviously thinking beyond the boundaries of what we expect — or what we think we expect. The truth is, most of us don’t really process. We figure we’re on safe ground following whatever we’re told is the cat’s meow.

Dick Clark made a lot of money telling us what was the cat’s meow. If Dicky said it was good, he ought to know, right? Only, trend followers — even at the top of the heap — don’t always have the greatest judgment.

Take, for example, what ranked as the top hits of 1966. A dinky little song called “Winchester Cathedral” by The Vaudeville Band ranked at #4, while one of the greatest seminal Motown songs “What Becomes of a Broken-Hearted” by Jimmy Ruffin was way down at #38.

Obviously, you can’t pick every trend — nor is every trend worth picking. If it’s your business to choose what’s “hot and what’s not,” it might be wise to do a little “re-application” of your own.

If you’re saying that’s not the job of advertising or marketing, you’re mistaken. We don’t necessarily set trends, but we do influence them. And let’s be clear what makes advertising work in the first place. It isn’t a trend, it’s the notion that anything can be a trend.

As David Ogilvy once said, “We’re not here to change peoples’ minds. We’re here to change peoples’ beliefs.”

“Okay,” he’s saying, “the way I figure it, humans like big butts. If we’re going down there, we’d better have big butts.”

In other words, trends may be the result of lazy thinking, but changing them takes a lot of work. Whether you’re ready for that work is really what separates trend followers from trendsetters. You have to choose what you want to be: Mark Cuban or Dick Clark or The Vaudeville Band.

If you’re saying, “What about The Kardashians?” let’s think back to those intelligent life forms out in another galaxy. Imagine their sociologists trying to explain Kim and Kylie to the others. “Okay,” one of them is saying, “the way I figure it, humans like big butts. If we’re going down there, we’d better have big butts.”

“But we don’t even have butts,” another says.

“We’ll put our brains back there.”

“You’re kidding.”

“That’s what the Kardashians do.”

“Kim must be highly intelligent.”

“Damn straight.”

Even intelligent life forms millions of miles away know when to set a trend and when to be a follow junkie. Especially if you’re dealing with The Kardashians.

Join us this Nov 20–24 at Clonmel Castle in Port Dover, Ontario for the “Writers at the Castle” workshop retreat. Enjoy 5 days (4 nights) of discussing and writing humor in a 90-year-old Georgian Revival mansion. All inclusive. It’s going to be fun!


Robert Cormack is a novelist, humorist and blogger. His first novel “You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can’t Make It Scuba Dive)” is available online and at most major bookstores. Check out Yucca Publishing or Skyhorse Press for more details.


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Robert Cormack

4 years ago #9

Sure, Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador, nothing wrong with getting a butt-less martian to do "The Hustle."#9
Great post, Robert Cormack! ROFLMAO. I'm dedicating Shake, Shake, Shake Your Booty by K.C. & The Sunshine Band to the butt-less martians.

Robert Cormack

4 years ago #7

The great thing about television, Brian McKenzie, is it shows our decline. We've been on a downward trajectory since the 60s, and it amazes me how networks have survived this long. I think, when Trump concludes his presidency (4 years is max for him), he can look back with pride and say he kept the networks alive (and he'll be right!)

Robert Cormack

4 years ago #6

I think they just want to see how far those probes go, Cyndi wilkins#5

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #5

#4 Maybe that is why martians are so intrigued by us and like to probe our 'butts' when they visit... LOL! Intergalactic friends with benefits;-)

Robert Cormack

4 years ago #4

Spread the word. The butt-less are coming.#3

Lisa Vanderburg

4 years ago #3

hahahaha....need to alert Geoff Hudson-Searle...they'll love this!

Robert Cormack

4 years ago #2

Thanks Lisa Vanderburg. I know those butt-less martians are out there. Now we just have to wait for intergalactic booty calls.#1

Lisa Vanderburg

4 years ago #1 the dialogue Robert Cormack! Really enjoy the idea of butt-less Martians watching us :)

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