A Game Of Inches

I have been taking a little time away from writing original posts to just putter around and teach myself some new things. Nothing special, just practical things that I need to master, because it’s going to be a while before I can take my therapy to the next level, so I figured why not take some time to get really proficient at this level.

But I also took some time to think about this year and what it’s meant to me.

One the one hand it was really sad because I caught an infection that basically crippled me. So there are a lot of things I probably won’t ever be able to do again. Like riding a bike. Taking long walks unassisted, that sort of thing.

But on the other hand, I was told that what happened to me could easily have snuffled out my existence, and so I am happy that it didn’t. I’m also happy that it didn’t dull my brain, what with all the painkillers I had to take while I was both ailing and recuperating. I’m writing more than ever these days, and I can tell that on that level I have not skipped a beat.

This is all in aid of something that’s been dawning on me for quite a while. It started in the hospital when I began looking around and realizing that even though what had happened to me really sucked, there were people, a lot of them too, that were way worse off than I was. A lot of them didn’t really have much going on at all. My only defect was legs with muscles that had atrophied and a bit of a balance issue.

But like all ideas that gestate in your head, it took me a while to get into writing about this.

On balance, I am thankful for a lot of the things I was left with. I can think. I can read. I can type. My brain still functions well, I can sit in this chair for 10 hours if I have to. I sleep better than I did before I got sick. And I have finally gotten to the point where I am no longer lamenting what I have lost, but am simply trying to optimize all I was left with.

There are a lot of people who will be happy I have gotten to this point, because they will know that all the help they gave me was not in aid of a losing cause.

I am still as determined as ever to take this as far as I can, mobility wise. I’d be a fool not to try. But no matter how far I get, I will have the satisfaction of knowing that I gave it all I had, and have no regrets because this is not something that any sort of diligence could have prevented.

And I will also have the joy of knowing that the world has way more good, caring people in it than any other kind.

I know this because I met a lot of them along the way, and never fail to tell them how much gratitude I have for their efforts on my behalf.

And so I plod along. An inch here an inch there. It is, after all, the way of things in my life right now.