Conscious Words

When we tell ourselves "we have always struggled" we subconsciously reinforce this notion. The word "Always" and "Never" are very definitive, so further reinforce the notion. As long as we keep seeing public speaking as a struggle we are fostering that consciousness like we stir embers to set a fire.  Many people join a public speaking group to overcome confidence issues.  They are looking outwards to the world and filled with what the world has done to them.

It is hard enough to deal with what the world has done, if we do not notice what our words are doing to our subconscious as we either second guess ourselves or think negatively or dismissively of our own actions.  We are all open to being the worst critics of our own being, and this critical self-talk can become so common that we start not to notice it.  Even this song from Evanescence may speak to a truth we really feel when we let others define us, but if we keep reinforcing this story again and again, how do we ever expect to feel good enough?

To reframe the words we speak and not speak from the past which is a situation that we cannot change to a situation where we focus on what we can change, then one suggestion for that reframe is "I always look for opportunities to grow in my speaking confidence and this resource helps" - that small change is sending a message to ourselves of the transformation we signal for ourselves.   These are not affirmations, it is saying the same thing in a way that stresses the outcome we want rather than reinforcing the belief that keeps on defeating us.

Now as we stand in front of an audience we have one less battle to fight, because that little voice in our head begins to train itself to be our friend and not  become our worst enemy or at least not befriend ourselves through the choice of our own self-critical talk. We can transform the words of our self-talk to speak to the action we seek.

This means instead of repeating what we have not been able to do, I find it powerful to express what it is we want to learn. We invoke the action that matters and even if we find ourselves knocking ourselves even a little - over time that little amounts to a lot.  This is called creating a vicious cycle.  When we stand in front of our audience the first feeling we need to generate is a sense of excitement.  We get excited when the words we use to describe ourselves change. The opposite of a viscous cycle is creating a virtuous cycle. 

I can spend the rest of my life counting the words that add to the viscous cycle, but the sun will start to shine when we count the words that we use that add to our own virtuous cycle. Words matter, especially the one's we use the one's to describe ourselves.  Our words matter even if those words started a joke. Even here we see the BeeGee's can reinforce that, but they also knew how to make great meaning with words, except here the words we use must first win over our own heart first, then we win over others with the words we have.

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