Dear Students:

Due to the Corona Virus, school is under new management- please observe the following changes from your new teacher.

1. Monday is pyjama day. Forget it, every day is pyjama day

2. There is no lunch lady. 12:00 is culinary Arts. Make yourself something. Peanuts are now allowed. Cover everything in peanut butter if you want to. At least it's protein.

3. Starting today you can wear open-toed shoes in every class. I'm honestly just impressed if you're actually wearing shoes. Pants are also optional, underwear is not.

4. If you misbehave, you'll be sent to Dad's office for detention.

S. If you don't understand the assignment, ask your older sibling. I probably don't get it either.

6. Don't drink out of the teacher's Yeti.

7. School begins promptly at the conclusion of my second cup of coffee and ends just as abruptly at cocktail hour, which will be adjusted depending on how big of a disaster the days' lessons are.

8. No, you cannot have a PE excuse.

9. You do not need to announce how long you'll be in the bathroom for or how things turned out. Just go.

10. If you hit your sister, I'll swat you. There's no code of ethics, I was tenured before you ever made your arrival on this planet and I sleep with the principal. Try me.

This is going to be a really exciting trimester and I'm so glad you're in my class. Love, your new teacher

Ms. Mommy