Do you talk about?

I was out with a friend and they said, so now we have talked about our obligatory review of our health maybe we can talk about other things, so we did. Later I was out with some other friends and we were out talking about how people react when they are given bad medical news. I had a member of my family who had Cancer and did not tell anyone except her/his parents. One of the parents told me but I was sworn to secrecy and I held the secret until the other parent brought it up in discussion over dinner. The assumption made was that I would tell my wife the news. My wife was upset when she found out and more upset that I knew and she did not, as it was a member of her side of the family.

As we started the new conversation our friend said, "It is interesting that when some people get Cancer they don't want anyone to know." and she looked directly at her partner. I being curious and sometimes rude, turned to her partner and I asked if he had Cancer. He said "No." and while he was saying "No" she was shaking her head "Yes". So I looked at my wife and said to our friends, "What is going on, one of you is saying no and the other is saying yes, both can't be correct."

He was silent for a while his partner stared at him but he finally admitted that he had Cancer. He went on at great length to explain that he was not worried and that he was sure that next week they would cut it out and he would be fine. He made us promise not to tell his children. We agreed as we never see the children anyway, so it was an easy promise to make and keep.

I wonder why there is a reluctance to talk about ourselves if we are unfortunate enough to become victim to a serious illness or a chronic disease. I know there is a reluctance to talk about mental illness or drug addiction for some people, but I had not realized that this reluctance also applied to serious illnesses, such as Cancer, Dementia or other Chronic illness. Maybe it is the circle that I travel in at this point in my life.