Little Johnny's Back

The teacher asked the class to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'."

Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but l wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate'."

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him.

Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her breasts are so big she can only fasten eight!"

The teacher sat down and cried.

For those of us who write here are some tips that I have found useful

1. Avoid Alliteration. Always.

2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

3. Avoid clichés like the plague. They're old hat.

4. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.

5. Be more or less specific.

6. Writers should never generalize.

7. Be consistent!

8. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary. It's highly superfluous.

9. Who needs rhetorical questions?

10. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.