Royce Shook

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Sustaining relationships

Did you know that the first of the Baby Boomers turn 70 this year? Do you remember the old Beatles song "When I am 64." My take is that the song is not about being 64 but the song is about the sustaining of relationships. The lyrics are about how to keep love alive and the need we have to know that the relationship we are in is the correct one for us.

I had an interesting conversation the other day with three young colleagues (two men and one woman), it was after work and they were talking about how to know if a relationship was good and what they could do to maintain one. I was asked my views and I suspect they thought that they thought with the wisdom of age and experience, I have been married for 46 years, I would have the answer. Sorry to disappoint but we as boomers value relationships, but many of us are not good at keeping them. All I could talk about is the following:

The idea is that we need, to be honest with ourselves about what we want and what we need, at an emotional, physical, and intellectual level. To find out what we need requires hard thought, and self-investigation and is not something that is done easily. However, once you have spent the time and energy to find these things about yourself then be honest and communicate using "I language" to your partner what you need. It may be that your partner cannot give you what you need at this time in your life. If this is the case move on. This is easy to say but hard to do, however, if you want to be happy then you may have to make tough decisions about the type of relationship you want.

Back to the Beatles, I saw the Beatles when they came to Vancouver in the 60's and enjoyed the show and love their music still today. Boomers may hold on to old memories but we find ways to make them come alive today. Music was an important part of my life when I was young and still is an important part of my life today.

Sustaining relationships

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