The President's Grandmother

One of the aspects of Toastmasters participation is that the educational mandate includes leadership education.  True leadership development does not happen through manuals, it starts in the home and works its way among family, and then community and finally leaves it mark and focus usually in the workplace.

Daniel is the Club President of our Toastmasters Club for this year until June 2016.  He is one of the nicest people one could wish to meet, full of happiness and down to earth attitude, always smiling and supporting others with a kind emotional intelligence.

When I heard that is grandmother had passed, it was only appropriate for me to pay respects to her if only on the account that the Anupol family gave rise to this splendid human being who I share the executive team with and who is learning leadership in the role of the President.

The visitation was today at Scott's Funeral home.  His grandmothers name is Lola Dolly Bautista who passed away this weekend at the age of 95.  As she laid in rest, I observed her face.  It was not an angry face or a stern face, it was very noble and regal - there was a great strength in her face - it was a woman who passed with the knowledge that her legacy is a very strong and well knit family.   Dolly was short for Dolores. 

When I examined her younger pictures, one with her husband where she stood like a royal person and another couple which were facial shots which reminded me of Imelda Marcos and from all of this and the reverence that Daniel had in his eyes, spoke of a matriarch in the family, which in turn means leadership to me.  For this is where the streams of leadership originate.

If we do not observe our loved one's for their leadership and the history of their leadership, we miss out on a vital source of our own leadership growth.  It will be good for Daniel to reflect on his grandmothers achievements and ways in the coming months, simply because there is more leadership lessons within that then he presently realizes.

I met Daniel's father, who I confused as his younger brother - and it was clear to me that Daniel is a chip of the old block (though old is not really applicable in this case).  This is where I can attribute the happy and carefree nature of Daniel.  Then I met Patty,  his mother and I could see where Daniel's remarkable sensitivity comes.  Patty has an even deeper level of sensitivity for when I looked in her eyes, it was unmistakable to me how much of a hole will be left in her life with the passing of her mother.  I could see a very close mother-daughter relationship and when one is surrounded by happy carefree people, it provides some relief from grief, but it cannot compensate for the feeling a daughter has built, at age 95, that feeling has even greater depths to it and I am sure much more deeper than even Daniel may be capable of realizing now.

This is where leadership is born - that greater part of leadership which resides in our genes as well as our memories.  I am now sure that Dolly had a great part to play in Daniel's life, for the simple fact that in her deep sense of grief, this was the first remarks that came from his mothers mouth, followed by the depth of tears that swelled below the surface of those remarks.  It is in these sad moments that legacy is passed from generation to generation, and this is the first source of leadership any of us have - that which is imparted through our family.

What I share with Daniel family is an equally strong family and it is this sense of strong family that made it critical for me to pay my respects this evening to Dolly.  We do not say goodbye to someone at a funeral, especially a person who played a critical role as the heartbeat of a particular family, what we honour in people like Lola Dolly Bautista is all the things we want to see in a leader, not just the strength of character, the grace, the nurturing spirit, the regal stature but most of all the love.  Leaders are afraid of that word.  It does not show up in any Toastmaster manual, video or speech - but one cannot say goodbye to love, one can only receive it with both hands and then pass it forward - and as I pay my respects to Lola Dolly Bautista - it is this love that continues - because it will flow back into Daniel and make him a greater leader - this is where leadership development begins.  R.I.P. Dolly.

Josh Groban - To Where You Are is appropriate for anyone who wants to remember the person who made a difference in one's life - here is to the all the difference makers here and there . . .

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