Idle musings

THINGS T0 PONDER

1. I talk to myself because sometimes I need expert help.

2. I don't need help with my anger, people just have to stop pissing me off.

3. There is nothing wrong with my social behaviour. It’s the idiots that are to blame.

4. The biggest lie I tell myself is ‘I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it’.

5. When I was little, I saw taking a nap was a punishment. Now I see it as a mini-holiday

6. Not even duct tape helps with stupidity, but it does help to muffle the sound.

7. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out three sizes smaller?

8. "Getting lucky" means entering a room and remembering what I went in for.

9.  If the No. 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still No. 2?

10. Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

11. Why are you "in" a movie, but “on” TV?

12. What was the best thing BEFORE sliced bread?

13. Why do we drive on parkways & park on driveways?

14. Why do "fat chance" &. "slim chance" mean the same thing?

15. Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

16. At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?

17. When does it stop being partly cloudy & start being partly sunny?

18. When French people swear do, they say "Pardon my English?”

19. Why do people say “heads up" when you should duck?

Remember these sayings when we were young and coming up with ways to say goodbye in a funny way.

1. See You Later, Alligator

a. IN A WHILE, CROCODILE.

2. Out the door dinosaur.

3. CHOP CHOP. LOLLIPOP

4. See you Soon, Baboon.

5. TAKE CARE POLAR BEAR.

6. Give a Hug, Ladybug.

7. IN AN HOUR, SUNFLOWER.

a. Maybe two, kangaroo,

8. BETTER SWISH, JELLYFISH

9. Chow Chow, Brown Cow

10. BETTER SHAKE, RATTLESNAKE

11. Bye, Bye, Butterfly

12. GOTTA GO, BUFFALO

13. Let's jam, Sam.

14. BLOW A KISS, GOLDFISH

15. Be Sweet, Parakeet.

.