Just How Distracted Are We?

We remember the Chubby Chicken deal at A&W but forget to take our warfarin.

“Any distraction tends to get in the way of being a good gangster.” Terence Winter

We’re all preoccupied and distracted these days. It tends to come with being connected, wired up, linked digitally to the outside world.

Reading this article, for instance, is probably stopping you from doing other things — like having a life. Maybe you don’t want a life, or maybe you think this is your life. It’s actually my life. I’m trying to be constructive here.

You, on the other hand, are looking to be entertained.

Any number of things could happen — including me.

Don’t get me wrong, I need the readership, but I’m also a realist. I know you’re only spending time here until you get distracted by something else. Your phone will ring, a text will pop up, maybe someone’s going to knock on your door. Any number of things could happen — including me.

All these interruptions may seem harmless, but they’re distracting you from being truly engaged. By that I mean, using your brain in such a way that it doesn’t become a blob.

Based on what occupies us now, including selfies and making pizza, it’s possible we’re blobs already. Even this article could be wasting your time, so either put it down, or read on and find out what’s making us blobs.

First of all, we need to recognize the difference between being engaged and being distracted. Engagement suggests we’ve got important things on our minds. Distraction means we’ll drop whatever we’re doing to look at anything — including pizza dough.

As harmless as this may appear, scientists are definitely concerned about us watching pizza dough.

It’s what’s known as “task switching,” and this seriously impedes our logical, cognitive thought processes. Put into layman’s terms, it’s making us dopes.

They’ve done meticulous research showing that interruptions, distractions, constant noise and, yes, watching pizza dough, all reduce our ability to think. Multi-tasking, in particular, is one of the worst culprits. It’s what’s known as “task switching,” and this seriously impedes our logical, cognitive thought processes. Put into layman’s terms, it’s making us dopes.

If we’re to believe Susan Weinschenk Ph.D., writing in Psychology Today, many of us are losing up to 40% of our productivity through “task switching” which is playing havoc on our pre-frontal cortexes.

It seems our prefrontal cortexes were never designed for the type of cerebral hopscotching we engage in today. As we continue to add more tasks, this part of our brain doesn’t have time to process. Without processing, all the cortex can do is move on to the next piece of information.

At the end of the day, if you can’t remember what you did earlier, it’s like a defective answering machine: your cortex didn’t record.

At the same time, what we leave blank may be more important than what we remember. This is called “maladjusted preoccupation.” We remember the Chubby Chicken deal at A&W, but forget to take our warfarin.

And let’s face it, maybe you wouldn’t have heard the phone because you were too busy snipping your own old cuticle.

Here’s an even simpler explanation (since I’m sure you’re already thinking about pizza dough). When someone says: “Sorry I didn’t call you, I was preoccupied,” this is called “deflective preoccupation” meaning they prioritized and decided they’d rather snip off an old cuticle.

And let’s face it, maybe you wouldn’t have heard the phone because you were too busy snipping your own old cuticle.

Most preoccupations are subconscious, meaning they’re done more by rote. Answering the phone, checking an email or text — these are all done by rote. Our minds tell us there’s something very important waiting, so we react, we pick up the phone, we read a text. Yet, over the course of the average day, most messages, despite their intriguing subject lines are, frankly, distractions or junk.

If we heap all the emails, phone messages, texts — and CNN — we realize these distractions are just excuses. I say “excuses” because most preoccupation is what I’ll call “cerebral avoidance.” A woman, sitting on the bus, checking her texts, for instance, is avoiding her surroundings.

We’re all guilty of this, of course, but if our prefrontal cortex is going to stand any chance at all, we must start focusing on what I call “essential preoccupation.” To achieve essential preoccupation, I’ve outlined five easy steps anyone can do to keep their brains sharp and uncluttered.

Look, most dogs look like Spiro Agnew. Nixon only made him Vice President so he’d appeal to dog owners.

It’s Still Just a Dog: First of all, stop going to Facebook every time someone sends you a notification. The last one said: “Did you see the dog? It looks just like Spiro Agnew.” Look, most dogs look like Spiro Agnew. Nixon only made him Vice President so he’d appeal to dog owners.

You Can’t Chew Gum at The Same Time: Very few of us can juggle. Doing three or four things at once may seem possible, but your mind sees everything flying all over the place. So you’re not a juggler, you’re a clown.

Turn Off, Tune Out, Grow Up: If you find distractions impossible to ignore, try turning off your lights. If your first thought is whether you can take selfies in the dark or not, turn everything off. More importantly, grow up (seriously, grow up!)

Grow a Pair: I mean a pair of ears. Learn to really listen constructively. Once you’re able to distinguish between noise and information, you’ll discover that Golden Retrievers look more like Bob Newhart than Spiro Agnew.

Doing fewer things well is far more productive than doing a bunch of things that turn your brain into dishwater.

The One Ball Limit: I can handle typing, but add anything like phone calls, texts, or a dog that looks like Bob Newhart, and my productivity descends to the level of a hamster. Doing fewer things well is far more productive than doing a bunch of things that turn your brain into dishwater.

Final word: Everything I’ve written above is a distraction. If you weren’t distracted all the time, you’d know this information already.

You’d probably tell me to shut up.

I’d probably tell myself to shut up.

Okay, I’ll shut up.

Robert Cormack is a freelance copywriter, novelist, satirist and blogger. His first novel “You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can’t Make It Scuba Dive)” is available online and at most major bookstores. For more articles and stories (absolutely free) go to robertcormack.net