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Robert Cormack Blog

Robert Cormack spent 40-years ... Toronto - Ontario View profile

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Writing Tips You Won't Get Anywhere Else.

Mostly because they're rude, insensitive and probably right. · “People think I must be a strange person. That is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. It’s in a jar on my desk.” Stephen King · Let me start by dropping a small bomb on the notion that writing every day will ...

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The Catchers.

Once you're crazy, you know you've made it. · “In an assembly line, the smaller the pieces of work assigned to any single individual, the less skill it requires, and the less likely the possibility that doing it will lead to doing something more interesting,” Jill Lepore · We wer ...

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Why Are Monkeys Still Here?

And why are we peeing RoundUp? · “If we evolved from monkeys, why are they still here?” · Stephen Baldwin · There’s little we can do for Stephen Baldwin now. Once an actor starts questioning Darwinism, it’s bound to get weird. We’re all capable of weird thoughts and theories—inc ...

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How Did Johnny Make His Songs Ring True?

Hint: Guts. Second hint: Still guts. · “Go home and sin and come back with a song I can sell.” Sam Phillips · “You’ve got a song you’re singing from your gut,” Johnny Cash once said, “and you want that audience to feel it in their gut, too.” He spent a lot of years trying to conn ...

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If You Have To Lie, Don't Advertise

“What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.” Tom Waits ·   · Tom Waits hates liars and I do, too. He sued Frito-Lay for using a voice in a commercial that sounded an awful lot like him, not to mention a song that sounded a lot like his (because it was). He was awar ...

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Do You Like Sea Snakes?

A story of bad vacations by Robert Cormack. ·   ·   · “I hate vacations. There’s nothing to do.” David Mamet · This happened at a resort, south of Saint Marc in Haiti, two months after Baby Doc Duvalier left the country for good. One morning, the Haitian staff went on strike, loc ...

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Cat In A Cage

A story of boxers and strippers. · “I don’t miss boxing.” Sugar Ray Leonard · Manz Farino won a fifteen round decision against Larry Krill in ’73, a big win that nearly cost Manz his left eye. He hung up his gloves after that, and opened a strip club on Decarie near the Blue Bonn ...

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Sunflowers

A story of lost love by Robert Cormack · “I just like to sing for people who have lost love.” Mac Miller · Carole’s back in town now. She’s sitting on my rug. She still calls it her rug even though I bought it from her a month ago. Everything she owned was sold or given away. The ...

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The Feast of Fools.

Every pandemic has had its detractors—some sillier than others. · “Tell all the people, we’ll be free, follow me down.” Robby Krieger, The Doors,Soft Parade · They were called The Feast of Fools, a group of horribles parading around in grotesque costumes back in 1347. This was du ...

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We're Lost.

In the future, we'll be known as The Lost Generation 2.0 · “It started as a virus and mutated into an IQ test.” Noni Moss. · We let this pandemic happen to us. It wasn’t just the anti-vaxxers, the anti-maskers, or Florida Governor Ron DeSandis telling the world he wouldn’t dignif ...

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Why I'm Unpopular On Medium.

Now you clap? ·   · “To his dog, every man is Napoleon.” Aldous Huxley · There’s an old joke that goes like this: A hooker meets up with her pimp and hands over her night’s earnings. The total is one hundred dollars and twenty-five cents. The pimp says, “Who’s the cheap bastard w ...

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3 months ago

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Writing Made Simple (According to Charlie Chaplin)

Start by avoiding elephants. · “In the end, everything is a gag.” Charlie Chaplin · Charlie Chaplin once told a reviewer that words were cheap. “The biggest thing you can say is ‘elephant’,” he explained. It took me a minute to get the wisdom of that. Then it made all the sense i ...

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3 months ago

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The Affair.

Sometimes a snowstorm can make all the difference. ·   · “If we listened to our intellect, we’d never have a love affair.” Ray Bradbury · Every Friday afternoon, Ross would leave his apartment key under a folder on his desk, and every Friday, at 5 o’clock, Sylvie, his secretary, ...

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Wash Like An Egyptian.

Why I get lyrics horribly wrong. · “I want to be on the Billboard Hot 100 with a single that has Korean lyrics.” Suga · I guess it all started (or became a serious problem) with John Lennon’s “I Dig a Pony.” I heard it as “I Did a Pony (you can penetrate anything you want),” an e ...

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Quitting Stupid.

How to quit a job without feeling the slightest bit guilty or violated. · “I have no problem quitting things, because I have a horror of boredom.” Laura van den Berg · I’ve always known when to leave a stupid job. I’ve even quit a few agencies after a couple of weeks. They were · ...

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Robert Cormack

3 months ago

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I Just Lost 2,000 Followers To Covid.

“I’m as unpopular as an electric eel in a pool of catfish.” Edith Sitwell · Something truly unsettling has occurred, something I hold up as evidence we’re not out of the pandemic woods yet. Earlier this weekend, I checked my followers on Medium. In one day, they dropped from 8.6k ...

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3 months ago

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The Brother They Couldn't Keep.

“Harmony is the ultimate brotherly love.” Phil Everly · Johnny had to take his brother out to the highway again, the same ritual he hated every year since he took over the marina. It had to be done, and Eddie knew it, but he never went easily. Eddie never did anything easily or q ...

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Don't Call Me A Masseuse.

A short story about massage therapy. · Courtesy of Unsplash“Dear “big” girls. Don’t be afraid to get on top. If he dies, he dies.” Anonymous · I’ve got strong thumbs. Nobody realizes how strong they are until they get on my table. Some of my clients are big girls. For whatever re ...

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Thanks For Not Being Tragic

A short story by Robert Cormack. · “We’re never so defenseless against suffering as when we’re in love.” Sigmund Freud · They were the Thompsons, and everybody knew them, and when Charlie Goose, one of the elders, heard they’d drowned, he said, “It isn’t for us to judge.” He’d be ...

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Why Men Drink.

Hint: Women. · “Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.” Johnny Carson · Women are a curious bunch. I’d like to say clever on one hand, devious on the other, but that’s an oversimplification. Women have a wide range of thoughts and ...

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