Robert Cormack

11 months ago · 4 min. reading time · visibility ~10 ·

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Why We Needed Trump.

The sad truth about politics and people in America.

Why We Needed Trump.

Beware of false prophets, which comes to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they’re ravening wolves.” Mathew 7:15

Donald Trump isn’t worried about this election. Maybe he should be, but he isn’t. He’s done the job he set out to do, not without glitches or people saying he didn’t do anything. He never ran for office expecting to do anything. As with any politician with a sleazy background, the more you say, the less you have to accomplish.

Maybe he learned this from his mentor and fixer, Roy Cohn. Trump used to call him 15 to 20 times a day, asking for guidance. It would eventually form his book, The Art of The Deal. In fact, Cohn was the deal. He didn’t negotiate, he threw up enough lies and threats, making it hard to know what was menace and what was meaningful menace.

Between the two, they created a new form of presidency: The Scam.

For a real estate developer, with more failures than successes, even Trump couldn’t believe The Scam would work. Beauty pageants, sure, television shows, absolutely. But politics — and heavy high-end politics at that — it isn’t like Sunday night programming. You can’t move from eight o’clock to ten o’clock and find your audience. That’s the biggest frustration Trump faced with the networks. He wanted placement, not editorial.

He offered the truth, wrapped in conspiracy. And didn’t this blue-eyed billionaire know a con when he saw one?

When he didn’t get it, he declared the networks all fake. He offered the truth, wrapped in conspiracy. And didn’t this blue-eyed billionaire know a con when he saw one? The Iranian Nuclear Deal was a con. Obamacare was a con. In backwater towns all over America, this made a lot of sense.

Conspiracy explained everything, especially why America didn’t feel like America anymore. Trump knew the real reason, even if they didn’t. It was those socialists trying to turn the country into a respectable place to live.

Yet throwing out “socialism” did seem strangely prescient, perhaps a throwback to Cohn and his Anti-American days. Sure, it destroyed lives, and even Eisenhower called it “a load of crap.” But a threat is a threat, and Americans like to nip these things in the bud.

So the usual suspects were trotted out, the migrant workers and single moms in the projects. Take a walk outside of El Paso or through Bedford-Stuyvesant. Those unwelcome slackers were draining the country dry. Better to stick an M-16 in their face, and chase them back where they came from.

There’s a meme that says, “Trump didn’t create racists, he just brought them out in the open.” Well, they weren’t exactly hiding. If anything, Trump brought together, showing them a shared noble goal.

Shouldn’t hospital beds be taken up by Americans with real conditions like atherosclerotic plaque and liver disease, not some Chinese virus caused by eating household pets?

The blame rested squarely with left-wing extremists, the news media, and Dr. Fauci — especially Fauci with all his doom and gloom. Even if the coronavirus wasn’t a hoax, did America really need those people crowding our hospitals with a foreign disease? Shouldn’t hospital beds be taken up by Americans with real conditions like atherosclerotic plaque and liver disease, not some Chinese virus caused by eating household pets?

And those do-gooder socialists, telling the NRA to get off their high horses, well, hell, why don’t socialists get off their high horses? Go back to Vermont, and take Medicare and Roe vs. Wade with you.

That was the beauty of The Scam. It all boiled down to personal needs, not ideology. Focus on jobs, and lots of gas, ’cause extended bed trucks can’t run on anything less than ten gallons a day, and if you don’t like the noise, you probably don’t like shotguns on racks in the back, either.

At a recent rally in Michigan, Trump said, if he won the election, he’d fire Dr. Fauci — and probably Attorney General, William Barr. People chanted, they dropped their masks. What a wonderful world it would be without the dissenters and puppets obeying the rule of law.

Everyone understood the implication: Might makes right, the bigger your rig, the more paint you take off the car next to you.

It made his followers bold enough to take to the streets, blocking Biden’s tour bus on the way to Austin. When Trump took to Twitter, saying “I love Texas,” his followers loved Texas, too. Everyone understood the implication: Might makes right, the bigger your rig, the more paint you take off the car next to you.

Americans love Wild West scenarios. Forget Kamala Harris mentioning John Lewis, how he bled for the end of racism. Get the trucks out on the road, get the loyalists to the voting areas. Intimidation works if there’s enough of you. Otherwise, you look like a streaker in an empty stadium. Trump knows the difference and stirs the pot. “There’s more of us than them,” he says, and people — ignoring the polls — get all hyped.

Today is election day, and Trump feels good about it. He should feel good about it. For three and a half glorious years, America got to open their doors, and shout out things nobody would say in civilized company.

When Trump threatens to ignore the results if he loses, the crowds cheer. Why not? What did laws and convention ever do for them?

They became ugly and sour, a sure sign The Scam is working. When Trump threatens to ignore the results if he loses, the crowds cheer. Why not? What did laws and convention ever do for them?

And so what if Trump has a new fence around the White House. Walls and fences have their place. If Trump is worried about angry mobs tearing him to shreds in the aftermath of an election, hell, let’s get our guns and head for Pennsylvania Avenue, and settle this thing once and for all.

They’ll settle down eventually. Until then, Trump loves their combative nature. He might even believe they’ll come to his defence when he’s ushered out of the White House.

“I love Americans,” he’ll say from the second floor balcony. He has his visions. A bit too dictator-like, perhaps, but the ratings will be good, and Trump loves ratings. If he wins, he’ll especially appreciate the headlines “You’re Fired,” as he fires all the people who doubted his authenticity and purpose.

And let’s not forget the ghost of Roy Cohn. Asked once if he regretted his part in the Anti-American hearings, he replied, “I never apologize.”

Except Cohn also said, “Never make a threat you can’t fulfill.” Trump has threatened a lot these past few weeks.

Let’s see if Trump follows his lead, as he has so often through the course of his career and his presidency. Except Cohn also said, “Never make a threat you can’t fulfill.” Trump has threatened a lot these past few weeks. Will he reject the election results? Will he line up the scapegoats? Will he even think about leaving with any dignity intact?

He doesn’t have Cohn anymore. When he used to become frustrated with someone, he’d pull out a photograph of Cohn and say, “Would you rather deal with him?” That won’t work this time. He’s on his own. And as he’ll find out tonight, he’s relying on the people he once called “stupid.”

Let’s see if they still need him as much as he needs them. Let’s see if they still believe The Scam for a second time around.

Robert Cormack is a satirist, novelist, and former advertising copywriter. His first novel “You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can’t Make It Scuba Dive)” is available online and at most major bookstores. Check out Skyhorse Press or Simon and Schuster for more details.

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Comments

Robert Cormack

11 months ago #4

Very true, Ken, very true.#3

Ken Boddie

11 months ago #3

#2
Ha ha. Fair comeback, Robert. Anyway, if the pundits have it right and Sleepy Joe has the prize over the Trumpster Dumpster, my sympathies go out to all the comedy script writers who’ll have to look elsewhere for their material.

Robert Cormack

11 months ago #2

Yes, Ken, but then what would I right about? I didn't even know Nero. #1

Ken Boddie

11 months ago #1

This would be hilarious, Robert, if it wasn’t so true. If Trump’s compounding scam tactics had been written as a work of fiction, back in the day, instead of a sad indictment of the fall of a once noble democracy, nobody would have believed it, dismissing it as farcical. Nero fiddles while Rome burns.

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