Friendship is a mysterious thing

Friendship is a mysterious thing. Some say you can't plan it, nor can friendship be forced. It happens. Or not. I was delivering a workshop to a group of men on a health topic of interest to the group. I had delivered another workshop to the same group a few months earlier. What struck me is that these men had gone to elementary and high school together, had worked in the same community and had retired and chose to live in the same community. They were all friends, if not close friends, close acquaintances. They had chosen to keep in touch after they had left school, and now had a group of over 100 members that met once a month and did good works in their community. A close friend of mine meets with his friends from high school about every two months to keep in touch and to reflect on life and changes. In my hometown, about 30 tp 50 people who graduated the same year as I did from high school, meet and reflect on life and change. Each person has made a choice about keeping in touch with old friends.

Choice Theory is based on the assumption that all behavior represents the individuals constant attempt to satisfy one or more of five basic inborn needs. In other words, no behavior is caused by any situation or person outside of the individual. According to the Choice Theory paradigm, people or events outside us never stimulate us to do anything. Rather, our behavior always represents the choice to do what we believe most satisfies our need at the time. From this perspective, we follow the rules of a game to achieve a meaningful outcome. When we repeat a choice that is consistently satisfying, we exercise less and less deliberation in making that choice. Even a quick action is chosen and not automatic. The School for Quality Learning: Managing the School and Classroom the Deming Way by Donna K. Crawford, Richard Bodine,& Robert Hoglund, pp. 45 - 50

The message of Choice Theory is that, because people always have control over the doing component of behaviour, if they change that component, they cannot avoid changing the thinking, feeling, and physiological components as well. A choice of action that results in greater control will be accompanied by better feelings, more pleasant thoughts, and greater physical comfort. To get their needs met effectively, people must realise that they always have control over the doing component and can choose to do something more effective than being miserable.

One of the top five regrets of the dying is  I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. "Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying." So keep in touch with your friends, they are important to your social, physical and mental well-being.

What does friendship mean to you? What kind of friend are you to the people you care about? What kind of friends do you surround yourself with?