Moving Day

In November, my daughter (informally adopted) Ann Marie had to move because her landlord had sold her condo, she and her partner were given 2 months notice. However, three days before the move, November 27, the landlord said he had made a mistake and they needed to move out, not Dec 1 at noon as he had originally told them but November 30th at noon.

So, my wife and I agreed to help them pack the boxes and furniture they had into the truck they rented to store their furniture. My wife, who had just finished a 6-week stint working on a play came town with a cold and was unable to help on that day. I was near the end of my cold so I was willing and able to help.

When I arrived, Ann Maries' brother was there and we waited for a while before Andy (her partner) came with the truck. Once the truck was ready to be loaded up we started carrying out the boxes and the furniture. I noticed very quickly that Scott (her brother) started to help me by first saying that box is too heavy, here is a lighter one, and that continued with the furniture when Scott and Andy would not let me help carry the heavier furniture. At first, I was annoyed and then I became bemused. Andy and Scott thought they were trying to be nice and trying to be thoughtful. 

In fact, they were practicing ageism. Ageism is defined as discrimination against persons of a certain age group. with a tendency to regard older persons as debilitated, unworthy of attention, or unsuitable for employment. I was not upset at the attitude as it came from a place of respect and love, but it was annoying and if I had called them on it, I would have gotten blank stares. They would not know what I was talking about, which is unfortunate. I talked to my friends and they said, yes it happened to them when they were asked to help others move and they also said, they did not ask older friends to lift heavy items. 

My brother who is one year younger than I am said he never asks his friends to help move because he is concerned about their health. I remember when I was younger and I moved, Colleen's grandfather who, at the time, was about 60, helped. I remember making sure he did not have to lift the heavy boxes and also he did not lift any heavy furniture. So my brother and my friends and I practice ageism.

Ageism is a major issue for seniors. Our Seniors Advocate in British Columbia Isobel MacKenzie says ageism is one of many issues that affect seniors worldwide. It can be as simple as complimenting a senior for going to the gym every day or making a joke that belittles a senior

According to a Revera Report on Ageism, nearly two-thirds of Canadian seniors 66 years of age and older say they have been treated unfairly or differently because of their age. Ageism is a form of discrimination that society does not recognize and most of us don't see, but hopefully, this will change as more and more boomers become seniors.

Here is what has bothered me about this situation, perhaps I should I have said something about the ageism, other than what I did say which was, "I have no problem with lifting the heavier boxes or heavy furniture". Both comments, by the way, were ignored, by the two younger men.