Questions for end of life planning 2

Do your children know who your professional team is?

As you prepare the legal documents you will be choosing people that you trust and who know you, in some cases, this person may be an adult child. The children should know if you have called in other professionals who can help ease the process of settling the estate, filing insurance claims, finding and managing all the assets and more. Not only do they need to know if you have called in these professionals but they should know how to contact them if needed.

As we get older, we need more medical care, do your children know who your doctor is and how to contact the doctor? This is basic information and should be known by anyone who might be around or contacted if you should have a medical emergency.

If your children are helping you, they may need details such as a copy of your driver’s license, Social Insurance number, date of birth, place of birth, mother’s maiden name, previous addresses and access to your Medicare card and any other insurance card. Even an agent under a power of attorney or your representative under the representation agreement or your advance directive often has to provide some of this information before being allowed to take action.

Do your children know where you want to live as you age?

If the home becomes too much for you, would you prefer to move into an apartment or a place with more services, such as independent living or assisted living residence or would you like to pay for home care aides? Do you expect to move in with one of your children?

It is a good idea to consider these options and explore the choices in your area well before you need to make a decision. Otherwise, if the time comes someone will make the decision for you and it will be made in a hurry.

What do you want to happen to your remains when you die?

It is not unusual for a child to remember a casual comment a parent made years earlier about funerals, burial, or cremations and interpret that as a last wish.

Sometimes two or more children have contradictory memories about such comments. 

These memories can cause great frictions in families so write down any preferences you have and be clear about these wishes. Tell all of your children the details of this question. The children should know the answers to these questions before the need is apparent. Because you’re unlikely to be able to help with the answers when the information is needed.