When one door opens...
1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 8:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "East."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.
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Comments
John Rylance
3 years ago #6
I thinkwe need to be clear what sort of doors we are talking about. Front, back, side, interior, exterior, revolving, automactic, patio, sliding, kitchen, swing, bathroom etc., each of them a door way to a part of our world. Then there's the The Doors pop group letting us into their musical world.
Ken Boddie
3 years ago #5
Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee
3 years ago #4
I was rather reclusive for decades--but then pharmaceutical products were making me very, very ill. The world opened up long enough for me to taste after I got better. And once I found what I wasn't looking for, I went back inside. For three years I fought the kind of future I saw coming down the pike. Looks like I wasn't too good at it because now it's here. I know there are many people out there saying I was right all along. And now that I tell them 'we should not comply' they still will. I see that coming, too. It will not end and it's going to get much, much worse. HR 6666 is lying in wait. It has passed the house, it will probably pass the senate. That will give them the legal [illegal] right to enter our homes without a warrant or without consent. Like I said--it will not end and it's going to get much, much worse.
bichon maltes
3 years ago #3
John Rylance
3 years ago #2
Lüiz Enrique
3 years ago #1